HTML Practice

I am just practicing with html for my RedBubble site. They have a lot of really creative artwork on there. Not just T-shirts, but great wall art and writing too. I just used this here for my stuff to see which sites it will work on, and which it won't.

If your in the mood for a bit of wall art for your home or office, then please give these a look.

Thai Wine

Someone gave me a bottle of Thai wine. I don't remember who or when though. It has been in the fridge for a few months. Palmy came home for the weekend, and asked about it, so I figured that was as good a reason as any to open it. The first problem we encountered was the lack of a corkscrew. We came up with some pretty ingenious ways to try and open the bottle without one, but nothing worked. We stopped just short of getting the Makita and a 3/4 inch wood bit out. I finally just took it to the sink, and lopped the neck of the bottle off. We lost a bit in spillage, but nothing serious.
The first thing we noticed is that Thai red wine isn't all that red. It's kind of a brownish color. The only red thing I have seen here is this rugged ass home made wiskey that the locals brew up at home. It actually tastes pretty good, but will tear you up after about 4 - 5 glasses. Anyway, Palmy and I had a glass. The next thing we noticed, was that it tastes exactly like prune juice. At first, I thought I was gonna hurl, and Palmy was making some pretty strange faces at the taste. But after a few minutes, you kind of get used to it. It wasn't actually that bad. For prune juice I mean. We made it through the bottle, and Palmy ended up rather giggley and sporting a very red face. There are actually more wineries here than I would have believed. I think we need to look in Bangkok, the next time we go. Maybe there will be a better selection.

Teacher's Day 2008

We had Teacher's day last week. We all go over to the Wat, and the kids show their appreciation to their teachers by giving them flowers. That's nice and all, but if they really want to raise that grade a bit, buy me a damn beer and let me go home early. Or at least stay in your seat and be quiet for a change! Haaa! That's Roxanne sitting next to me, right in front of you. Jan went to the earlier ceremony with the younger students. There are 2700 kids, so they divided them up into 3 groups.

Anyway, the kids shuffle up on their knees and present the blessed flowers to all the teachers. This was a hoot, because that sweet looking young girl that is giving me the flowers is a disaster waiting to happen. She causes more trouble than any 10 kids I have. She is exceptionally smart, and pretty, and realizes that the boys her age are about as sharp as a box of rocks, and will do whatever she wants them to. We tried to look serious during the ceremony, but we both couldn't help but laugh later in class at the absurdity of her giving me the flowers that is basically a promise of their intent to be good students in the coming year.

Side note - my boss has decided that we have to have a meeting every Friday at 0720. This sucks for 2 reasons. First, I don't have class until 1020 on Fridays, so I would rather sleep late, and get some work done at home in the air conditioning, than do nothing but sweat my ass off in that hell hole of an office. And secondly, he says he wants to have these meetings so he can review our teaching record books. That's fine, but HE CAN'T READ ENGLISH! He is also going to ask us if there are any problems...does he mean like the same problems that we told him about all last year, and he did nothing about? I can hardly fucking wait. :P

Side note 2 - The guy in Lopburi finally got enough kids for 2 classes. I am supposed to start teaching this saturday for 2 two hour classes. One is four 1st and 2nd graders, the other is two 3rd and 4th graders. This should be an adventure. The 3rd and 4th graders I can handle, because I have had them before, but I had to talk with Roxanne a bit to get an idea of what to do with the younger ones. It looks like 2 hours of ABC's every Saturday.....*le sigh*

I got culture!!!

I just got this in an e-mail from the instructor that taught our Thai culture class. They showed me how to dance, and explained that elephants were a good thing, and that Thailand grows a lot of rice. I don't remember them actually answering any of our more pointblank questions concerning things like what their Government is up too, and what REALLY did happen to King 8. Other than that, it was an excuse to goof off in Bangkok for a few days. Christ, I am still fat. You'd think that with living on rice and yard clipping, and perpetually perspiring, I'd lose a few kilos. Go figure.

*Note to mom.... King 4 was the king from "The King and I" story. I always thought it was King 5. Sorry about that.

Just Stuff

Not much going on that is out of the ordinary here. So I am just putting up a few pics that I had on my cell phone. Oh, I did start teaching a class one day a week at our daughter's school. I am teaching an English class that preps them for their University entrance exam. Most of it is just going over basic grammar. It's interesting for me because I am now teaching 10th, 11th, and 12th graders. They are a lot easier to communicate with, especially since this is a voluntary class and they want to be there.

This is a shot of one of my 7th grade classes actually being quiet and sitting in their chairs. This is kind of like a solar eclipse, it doesn't happen often, and you have to be quick to get a good photo of it. You see the little guy that is sitting in the third seat back on the left? His name is Tay. This is the second year I have had him in one of my classes, and to date I have yet to hear him say anything. Not just in English, I mean in Thai either. I have heard him laugh, but I honestly can't remember ever hearing him utter even one word. That might sound strange, as I am supposed to be teaching him English, but things are a bit different here. Thailand seems to have a full integration policy when it comes to school. We have children that should normally be in a special school, but I am not sure if Thailand has them. If they do, they must be too expensive for most families. So we just kind of go with the flow as to what we actually make the kids do. I am not happy with that, but I could spend an entire hour trying to get Tay to say "Hi", and only succeed in wasting an hour for 35 other kids.

These are some of the people that work at "Good View". That's where I hang out on Friday nights when Roong is at class. I have to kill four hours, and they have live music and take pretty good care of me. I drop Roong off at 5pm, so it's usually just me in there for a few hours. I like that, because it's nice and quiet. They have pretty good seafood there too. Going to a Thai restaurant early is interesting. When you walk in, everyone is doing one of two things. Either they are all sitting together eating, or the girls are all sitting together chatting and putting on their "night faces". Sometimes they are doing both. Sometimes the boys are putting on their "night faces" too. You never know.

YMCA Blasphemy

Thanks Dee!

Update

Where's a real doctor when you need one? I went back to my witch doctor in Bangkok on Sunday to get my blood tested again. Now, my cholesterol and triglyceride levels have both dropped about 60 points. I am pretty sure this is due more to the meds, than to the acupuncture, so no more needles or toe bleeding. I try to keep an open mind about that stuff, but there is a limit. Now the witch doctor says he is going to go after the hyper-sensitivity in my feet. This should be a hoot.

Yesterday was the first day of classes...almost. Only grades 7-9 and kindergarten started yesterday. The rest will start on Thursday. I didn't do much today, because the kids were mostly getting assigned to their homerooms and getting their books and such. My books should all be printed by the end of the week. It pisses me off that these clowns couldn't get that done on time. It takes 3 days at the printers. All they had to do was walk across the street. Now, I have to figure out what to do with the kids for at least 1 class this week, as I have all of them twice a week (2 classes I have 3 times). More time wasted!

Gnuz

Ok, here is what has been going on lately....Last weekend, I had to go to Bangkok for a "Thai Culture" class. It is supposed to be two weekends long, but we skated through the material pretty quick, so I should be able to finish it this Saturday. There are 11 of us in the class, and all of us have been here at least two years, so we don't need to ask many questions. The professor that teaches it is a funny old bird. He likes to throw in stories that usually have little to do with what we are talking about, but are a hoot none the less. We had a bit of Thai history and language already, so this last day, we will get to learn about cultural stuff like Thai dancing and all.

The best part of all this was that I get to stay in Bangkok by myself for a few nights. Once class was finished, it was off to the "Dubliner" for decent beer, sports, good food, and lots of English speaking people. Steve was in town that day, so he met me there. I got to meet a freelance journalist at the bar. It was very interesting talking to him. He writes for several publications, and pretty much just floats around southeast Asia and writes about whatever is happening wherever he happens to be. Sounds like a nice life. I will probably hit there again this weekend, after Saturday's class, and then come back early on Sunday. Now, I just have to figure out a way to explain this to Roong. Haaa!

Today was the first day back at school. I will be teaching 7th and 8th grade this year. That's cool, because I had all these little baboons last year, so I know what to expect, and so do they. My schedule kicks ass this year. Last year I had 26 hours a week, and had five different grade levels, plus those damn "activity" periods, that no one knew exactly what to do with. This year, I just have the two grade levels, and only about 21 hours. No activity classes! Yayyyyy! I finished my lesson plan a few days ago. I made a 45 page book for each level. It has the lessons, and activities all laid out. I used the basic design of them to teach my summer school kids at Nong Bua. To test it's effectiveness, I gave the kids a test on the first day of class, then I gave them the same test the last day. Their average score went from a 50% up to a 90%! I made a lot of changes, and expanded the content over the 2 weeks off I had. The boss, Roxanne, and teacher Aww looked it over and were very positive about it. They are going to print and issue them to the kids for their subject book this year. I am pretty damned pleased with myself today!

Roong and I have to go to Authaya tomorrow, to get my new visa. Normally we go to Bangkok, but Authaya is a little closer, and is supposed to be able to get the visa stamping and all finished in one day. That would save us an extra trip. We are hoping to get the visa and my work permit all finished in one day. Cross your fingers.

Song kran 2008

Another Song Kran celebration is upon us. Even as we speak, people all over Thailand are soaking each other down with muddy water (I think it's clay, actually). We had a small ceremony at the house for the family this afternoon. Palmy went nuts with the muddy water, and blessed everything she could sling the spiritual soup on, including Bongo, and my motorcycle (grrrr!). Our niece Bing was armed with a salvationary super soaker and is a pretty fair shot with it.

Our niece Bing, all muddied up and ready to go.

Palmy is pouring water on the Buddha statues.

A very wet and muddy Puk and Palm.

Puk and Roong, after a cease fire had been called.

Puk, pouring water to Mom and Dad.

Cafe Toothless

This is the place we go the most to eat, especially lunch, when time is short. It's just a block away from the school. As you can see, it's basically a garage with one of those little hot dog type push carts out front, with a burner and a gas bottle. These places don't have names on them, they just put a sign up that tells you what their specialty is. They plaster any signs that the soda companies will give them for free all over the wall, for wall paper. We don't know his name, but he and his friend have been living and cooking there for many years. Well, he has. His friend just sits in the back, watches TV, and drinks beer all day. A big plate of Kow pad or Pad se-u cost about 35 baht ($1). Not a bad deal. It can cost more to make dinner at home for us sometimes, so eating at these little places doesn't affect the budget at all.

Summer School

This is 6 of my 25 summer school students. From left to right, they are Kan, Ohm, Boss, Kwang, Petch, and Bas. The day I took this, I didn't have all the kids there, because it is now the Song Kran holiday. Kan is one of the most skilled kids I have. She, Thuy, and Maie are pretty far ahead of the others in skill, so I make little extra activities for them to keep them busy while the others finish their assignments. Those three also are a big help to me for translating more difficult instructions for the younger students.

Acupuncture

As promised, here are a couple of shots of me getting the acupuncture. The little circles on my feet and calves are from these suction cups he puts on them for a few minutes before he puts the needles in. After the needles are in, he hooks them up to an electric stimulator thingy, and runs juice through them for 10-15 minutes. It seems to be helping, but the medicine he gives me for everything else is causing some nasty ass heartburn. Send Pepto!!!!!!!!!

Cell Phone pics

A shot of the girls and I on the new cell phone. I was surprised at how nice they turned out. I haven't seen many cell phone pics that didn't look grainy and blurry, especially if take indoors. As you can see, Palmy is in full retro/Japanese mode and sporting a new color. At least she isn't wearing those god awful leopard skin shoes today. The promise of a new cell phone was even enough to get Puky off the computer for a few hours.

These were taken at the Future city mall in N. Bangkok. We like this one a lot better that Zeer (where we normally go, about 5km further in). This is more like an American mall. It has lots of department stores, and even a sizzler and Pizza Hut. The stores are a lot more expensive, but they carry quality merchandise. I didn't see to many people grumbling about the prices though. I think I just have to get Roong out of the country market routine, and go to Future more. I am really having a hard time accepting the cheap ass, poor quality merchandise that everyone around here just seems to accept.

I tried to explain it like this. I can buy a pair of work shoes, that will last a year for 200 baht, but a 600 baht pair of shoes will last 5 years. I can't get them to see that that is a better deal. Plus, It's just plain a lot more comfy to shop and eat in an air conditioned mall, with quality merchandise, where I don't have to kick mangy ass dogs out of my way, to wave the flies off the spoiled produce, that will soon become my lizard crap coated dinner in somebody's damn "supposed to be a restaurant" garage. Sorry, I am going to my happy place now. Seeya!

My witch doctor says.....

"Just stop doing anything that you even remotely enjoy, and you will be fine. You have insurance, yes?"

Well, the good news.... My blood sugar, kidneys, liver, blood pressure, and all are fine. On the other hand, my cholesterol is still too high (314), and he also says that I may be in the first stages of early emphysema. He says that 1 in 10 people get it, and no one is sure why. Smoking doesn't actually cause it, it just helps it to progress faster. Quitting smoking won't make it go away, but it will slow down the progression of it. He says that since I am about 50 now, and just developing it, I shouldn't get too freaked out about it, and that I need to have a chest X-ray to be sure.

He also says that my my red blood cells are too big. Umm...ok. That's a new one. I went there today for more acupuncture. It seems to be having some positive effect, because now, I can feel more of the needles as he is using them. He had a new approach today. He said that he wanted to get rid of the blood that was pooling in my lower legs. So, he bled my toes. Seriously! That was just plain creepy. After he stuck all the needles in, he made a small incision on all 10 of the tips of my toes, and let some blood out. I am glad I couldn't feel that. As you walk into his office, the first thing you see is a huge hand carved wooden Chinese dragon. For some reason, that is very comforting. Well, that and the two receptionists that are so pretty, that Roong just glares at them. "I must be taking some pressure of you blood now Mr.Don". Yes you do baby girl. :)

On a happier note....I got a new cellphone. I still hate carrying that damn thing, but this one is pretty cool. My old one could never get a signal anywhere, so it was useless. This one seems to be ok, and takes great photos. My old one couldn't take pics. I have promised Roong that I will keep it on all the time. Well, I will, as soon as she lets me have it back. She is having a ball playing with it. I have to find a truly obnoxious ring tone to put on it of course.

I got spanked..but, not in the good way.

My 100th post! I would whoop-de-doo a bit, but I am still bushed from the weekend. Saturday and Sunday, I had the tests for my teacher certification. Well, they had me. Here's what happened....

As you know, the Thai government has now decided that all teachers need to have their official okey-dokey certificate to teach here. Wonderful! Although this seems aimed mostly at we foreign teachers, there seems to be a shit load of Thai teachers that don't have anything like that either.....Hmmm, I say. Upon hearing that I need this thing, I decided to study up on what I needed to do well on it. No one, including my wife has been able to get any concrete info on what material they were going to use as reference for the test. Roong called the people that SHOULD know, and got nothing. So, all I could do was hit the internet, and re-read my TEFL course, and hope.

The tests consist of 4 sections, each section has 150 questions, 600 questions total. What they seem to have done, is just translated the test they give the Thai teachers upon completing their education degree. There are a few, shall we say, quirks on the test.

First, it is geared for Thai educational practices. Nobody that is not Thai is going to have any familiarity with these. Things like "where religion should rank in importance in a child's education". I am from St.Louis, how the hell do I know where Buddhism should rank. We didn't have religion forced on us in school. There were also a lot of questions that asked how you would solve specific real problems facing Thailand's educational system.

Second, if you are going to construct a test for English speaking people, then please have somebody that actually knows the god damn language write it! 20% of the questions made little to no sense. Sometimes you could get the general idea of what they were looking for, but too many times the whole Q/A made absolutely no sense at all. Oh, and along with that, you might also what to get a wild hair, and actually have people that can speak English giving the test. Any question that was asked was answered with "Mai loo" (I don't know). They couldn't tell us when the results would be ready, how we would get them, etc. Although, in their defense, I did find one nice lady that was pretty sure that she knew where the restroom was.

There's more, but I am too tired to rant any more, so I will just finish the story... What I knew, I knew. What I didn't know, I had never heard of before. Out of each section, I am guessing I was sure on about 50 questions, and had a fair chance at another 20 - 30, but on the rest I was clueless. We need to have a 50% to pass. There is no way in hell I will pass it. Yanno, I also found it strange that they consider 50% a sufficient teaching caliber.

One of the other teachers taking the test found some interesting data concerning the first time this test was given. Such as the fact that no one passed the 2nd section, things like that. It seems that the test was too hard, so they re-did it for this next session. Well, it seems that I will have to take these damn things over again. I have 3 years to complete this, so I am hoping that in the mean time, I can find the material to study for it. The only sure way is to spend 70,000 baht and take the 8 month teachers course that some of the Universities offer. This country gets enough of our income as it is, so I am not jumping on that option just yet.

The bottom line is that out of the 40 or so of us that took these tests, I may have hear a few say that they were pretty sure that they passed 1 or 2 sections, but no one was claiming that they passed all of it. We all talked together quite a bit, and there were some pretty damn intelligent people there, all of whom were voicing the same frustrations. My head hurts, good night!

Karaoke + John Denver = Angry Weenus!

Yet more proof that karaoke is dangerous, read on....

A gunman in Thailand shot-dead eight neighbors, including his brother-in-law, after tiring of their karaoke versions of popular songs, including John Denver’s "Country Road". An angry Weenus Chumkamnerd, 52, put his gun to the head of a respected female doctor and seven of her guests as they partied at her home in Songkhla Province, South Thailand. "When I began shooting nobody pleaded for his life because they were all drunk," he said after his arrest.
He said he was so furious with their awful singing that he did not notice he had murdered his own brother-in-law.

"I warned these people about their noisy karaoke parties. I said if they carried on I would go down and shoot them. I had told them if I couldn’t talk sense into them I would come back and finish them off," he added.

Mr Chumkamnerd, who works as a rubber tapper, was arrested after going on the run after his killing spree in the town of Hat Yai, near the Malaysian border. The doctor who was hosting the party, Dr Suthathip Thammachart, 36, was the director of a local hospital who was due this month to get an award for her services to medicine. One of the revelers survived by playing dead, convincing the gunman that he too had been killed.

When he realized he had shot his brother-in-law, Boontip Desaro, Mr Chumkamnerd said he was filled with remorse. He got his son to take Boontip to hospital, but he was already dead.

A neighbor said that the karaoke group normally sang Thai pop and southern Thai ballads, but one particular western tune could be heard often - John Denver’s ‘Country Roads’. Country Roads is a hugely popular song in south east Asia and the neighbor said the revelers had been singing it over and over again.

Pink flamingos are for sissys, REAL men have peacocks!

One of the first things I noticed when I arrived here, was that Roong had nothing on the walls in our house. I mean nothing. Not even the mandatory dozen pictures of this or that king and queen that seems to be required to show you are a loyal Thai citizen. I vowed to change that.

It took me a while to get Roong used to the idea of hanging things on the wall, but she seems ok with it now. She even voices opinions concerning color and location. The biggest problem is finding the art. We needed to find a large over-the-sofa painting. After quite a bit of looking, and coming to the realization that large art just not exist here, I figured that I was going to have to paint it myself. Some time ago, in an effort to get me back into trying to produce something decent, Roong bought me a kick ass easel, but I haven't had the time or the drive to use it much.

To figure out what to paint, I started playing with Corel Painter X. It's fun to use, and it's a great way for me to make smaller versions of things we think might eventually look good on the wall. Also, it seems that these smaller artworks lend themselves well to becoming posters. So, i opened up a small art store on Zazzle to sell those. The shop should be ready sometime in June, because April and May are going to be hell here.

Anyway, the whole point of this story, is to explain why there is a 5 ft tall ceramic peacock staring at you. It's a waterfall that sits in the corner of our living room. Roong seems bent on building a sort of garden around it, with flowers, ivy, and such hanging off of it, and maybe a few fish in the basin. We were eating lunch at one of our favorite munchie spots in Soi sip song (12th street), and noticed a new little shop selling ceramics across the street. We went and looked, and saw a few interesting things, then left. We stopped there again that evening and looked some more. Then, the next day, we stopped yet again, and ended up coming home with that monstrosity.

I am not sure which I find more amazing, the fact that we bought it, or the fact that we went there three times, thought about it, and STILL bought it. Plus, a little ceramic boat, and two turtles. Well, I have to give it credit, it really is a conversation starter. Aren't peacocks blue?

Are you smarter than a 10 year old?

Ok, it's quiz time! This question was given to a pack of your average rabid 10 year olds. Take a look at the bus, and tell me which way is it going? Is it traveling to the left, or to the right? Be sure and look real close.

* NO PEEKING!*

Interestingly enough, 90% of the 10 year olds asked said that the bus was traveling to the left. When asked how they arrived at that conclusion, they said that it had to be traveling to the left, because you can't see the door on this side! Now, how do you feel poindexter? I know, me too.