Thursday, December 01, 2016

Nipping Naughtiness in the Bud

Coming across odd info chunks on the net is a daily occurrence. But, when I stumbled across this little tidbit on the IFLScience page about what was going on in the UK, I had to do a double-take. The sheer absurdity of it was baffling. The internet would collapse....

"Are you into spanking? Well then, we’ve got some bad news for you if you live in the UK – it’s due to be officially banned from use in all online pornography.
The non-governmental British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) spends most of its time giving age-based ratings to movies, trailers, and advertisements. They have a say over pornographic content too, and although criminal and extreme images are banned already, they have recently opted to ban some much more ambiguously “obscene” sexual acts in pornographic films.


As reported by the Independent, the acts likely to be affected by a clause of the Digital Economy Bill, which was passed unopposed in the UK House of Commons this week, are as follows:
  • Aggressive whipping
  • Caning
  • Spanking
  • Role-playing as non-adults
  • Physical restraint
  • Humiliation
  • Water sports
  • Physical or verbal abuse, regardless of consent
  • Penetration by any object associated with violence
  • Female ejaculation
  • Strangulation
  • Face sitting
  • Fisting
Assuming the bill passes unopposed through the House of Lords, then pornographic perusers in the UK will probably not be able to access this type of content online. As pointed out by the Guardian, there is no definitive list, but these acts fall under the “obscene” brief.
Some of these acts do sound fairly extreme, and it’s a matter of debate whether or not they should be featured in pornography. Plenty of these acts appear in works of fiction, including in movies, video games, and books, so their current appearance in pornography isn’t too different in that regard.

However, as you have surely already noticed, a fair few of these acts are not what anyone would call extreme. Face sitting certainly is not, unless of course, it leads to suffocation. Funnily enough, the ratio of face-sitting survivors to deceased is not a major topic of scientific discourse.
Female ejaculation, though, is the highlight of weirdness here. As we’ve previously reported, female ejaculate is comprised of urine and a bunch of proteins that aid fertility. It’s not clear why the act has made the list, but it’s likely the urine component of the orgasm that has caused a fuss.

Obviously, this is ludicrous. The male orgasm, which involves millions of tadpole-like critters often flying through the air in a gloopy white rainstorm, is horrifically messy, yet it remains unbanned. Sex is messy. Few have genuine complaints about this, so what’s the deal with female ejaculation?


Consensual sex between two adults is fun, and whatever people do in their private time is up to them. The BBFC highlighted these acts as being obscene because they pertain in some parts to violent acts, and they are worried it sends the wrong message. Clearly, they have been a little overzealous."

Censoring porn? Let me know how that works out for you. Haa!