It looks like Thailand has it's new Prime Minister. Meet Ms. Yingluck Shinawatra. What's that? You say that her last name sounds mighty familiar? Well, it should, she's the little sister of none other than Thailand's former convicted criminal Prime Minister, your friend and mine, Thaksin Sinawatra.
I am watching a bunch of Brits talking about the election on channel 99 now. It seems that the hardest part of discussing the election for them, is to keep from laughing at the absurdity of it all.
At her pre-confirmation speech, Yingluck made it quite clear that she dearly hoped that she hadn't been elected due to her last name. I give it about 6 months before her crooked brother is granted amnesty and is back running the government in Thailand, instead of running it from where ever he is hiding out at the moment.
The last time I heard anyone play a ukulele, it was either Tiny Tim or Don Ho. I can't remember, because it was like 40 years ago. Well, they appear to be making a comeback. I started noticing our daughter Puk posting pictures of ukuleles and cases and such on Facebook. I thought it was just a cute fad thing she was going through. But, it turns out that she can actually play the mini guitar.
Pukky has always had a nice singing voice, and can play a little guitar. But, she seems to be pretty serious with this. This photo was taken at a talent contest at her university. She won her division. Yayyyy!
This Sunday, Thailand goes to the polls. Given the tumultuous events of the last few years, it has been one of the most heated election campaigns in recent history.
As with every election campaign, all 40 political parties are prowling around the country to woo voters every possible way they can.
But since this is Thailand, the run-up has its own rules and, much to our enjoyment, many laughable moments.
Here are the top 10 noteworthy campaign oddities of the 2011 Thailand general election.
10. Yingluck and her ‘customers’
Taking a final campaign visit to the northeast this week, Yingluk Shinawatra makes an appearance in Buriram.
It was an open secret that former prime minister ThaksinShinawatra would send his youngest sister Yingluck into the race to lead the Pheu Thai Party.
And much to the disgust of opponents, the former business executive did indeed throw her hat into the ring.
During a presentation on May 16, she made a very good impression. Even the questions in English were answered confidently and flawlessly. With the exception of one little slip-up (see video), when she referred to the electorate as her “customers.”
One could argue that she is still warming up to politics, having just come from the business sector. And hey, everybody gets their target audience mixed up from time to time.
9. Sophon and the Panda
Lin Ping already has her own reality show so making the transition into politics was a breeze for the celebrity panda.
Despite the nation's political divisions, there's one thing that warms the heart of nearly all Thais (with the notable exception of this author): Lin Ping, the panda born in Chiang Mai Zoo.
Best of all, he's promised to get Lin Ping to visit Bangkok if elected. With such a promise, what can go wrong?
8. Abhisit versus the football
Prime minister AbhisitVejjajiva is known for being an avid Newcastle United fan. After all, just like the prime minister himself, the English Premier League club had some turbulent moments in recent years.
While out campaigning, the Oxford-educated premier didn’t pass up the opportunity to put on a pair of football boots and play a game with some young potential voters.
But things literally turned upside down when he made a cross-move and passed the ball only to fall down. Luckily, the PM was up and running again just moments after the incident.
Some say this was the literal stumbling block of his election campaign.
7. Paradorn and the forgotten vote
In April, retired tennis star Paradorn Srichaphan announced plans to run for parliament, saying he wanted to boost sport in the country.
Staying with sports, having former athletes run for your ballot is another oft-used trick to lure voters.
The Chart PattanaPueaPandin Party (yes, them again) hired a whole all-star team of former champions, among them retired tennis player ParadornSrichaphan.
The problem though was that Paradorn wasn’t even allowed on the ballot. Why? Because he "forgot" to vote in the last general election in 2007.
Since voting is compulsory in Thailand, he not only lost his right to cast a ballot this time around, but also was barred from running for MP. Talk about an unforced error.
6. Bhumjaithai and the wife beaters
A couple of the Bhumjaithai (Thai Pride) Party's election posters certainly got people talking.
The two different shots depict a tennis player and a football player with a slogan that translates into: “If you want to take care of your wife (or your family), you have to strike!”
Strike what? Or who? Are they promoting domestic abuse?
Not really.
Despite the odd choice of words, the party is actually promoting their sport-centered policies, like more financial support for sport associations and building sport centers nationwide. This all falls under their theme, “Fight to become rich!”
5. ChuwitKamolvisit's entire campaign
Chuwit waves as he tours Bangkok red-light district Patpong as part of his electoral campaign.
If there’s one underdog of the election who still somehow manages to hog the headlines, it’s got to be ChuwitKamolvisit.
The former massage parlor tycoon (some international media have even referred to him as a "super pimp") and now self-proclaimed “Mr. Clean” is, following runs in 2004 and 2006, taking another shot at political power.
This time he's running under the new RakPrathet Thai (Love Thailand) Party. His aim: to join the opposition and crack down on corruption.
His in-your-face election posters (e.g. “Politicians are like diapers, the more often they’re changed, the better”) are certainly a breath of fresh air.
And given how much he enjoys taking "baths," Chuwit is probably one of the cleanest men in the whole kingdom.
4. Pheu Thai and the too-small-logo
Pheu Thai countered the ballot blunder by printing signs to remind its supporters how to vote.
When Thais overseas received their ballot papers in advance, some reportedly had difficultly making their cross in the right place.
At least those who wanted to vote for the opposition Pheu Thai Party (For Thais).
That's because they had to really squint to actually find the Pheu Thai logo, whereas the other parties’ logos were perfectly visible.
Whether this was deliberate or a screw-up cannot be determined. Nevertheless the Pheu Thai Party hastily made new posters to make sure their supporters would not mess up their vote.
3. Don't vote for animals
One of the PAD's 'Vote No' posters, reminding the Thai electorate that politics has no shortage of monkey business.
The ultra-nationalist "People’s Alliance for Democracy" are ironically against the elections –- well, this one at least -- claiming that the whole political system is corrupt to the core.
In order to win over supporters for their "campaign," they have plastered posters everywhere urging the people to "not let these animals into the parliament.” The posters depict politicians as wild dogs, monkeys, buffaloes, tigers and so on.
There’s one small logical oversight: these animals have more backbone than most politicians. Even the monitor lizard.
2. Sanan and his pink shoes
It takes a confident man to pull off pink sneakers.
According to the Chart Thai Pattana (Thai Nation Development) Party, reconciliation only comes in pink, the color of the party.
Hence its leader, Sanan Kajornprasart, went for a fully pink outfit, right down to his snazzy pink sneakers. (Click here to see a video of him rocking his outfit.)
The story behind this odd wardrobe choice is that the party actually bought pink shoes for everybody to wear on the campaign trail, but only its leader wore them more than once.
Throw in a cool hat and some shades (again, see video) and you have the best-dressed dude of the entire Thai election campaign.
1. “Rock the Vote” -- Thai Style
Ending on a high note, the election commission has produced not one, but two music videos with numerous famous singers to convince people to go to the polls coming this Sunday.
While the pop version is aimed at the young urban crowd, urging them put their electronic devices down long enough to cast a ballot, the top spot goes to this folksier version with complete instructions on how to vote.
Hmmm, it must be election time again in the land of smiles. How do I know? Well, the first clue is the infestation of all those cockroach like pick-up trucks with loud speakers tied on their tops scurrying about blaring bad music an bullshit about this or that candidate. *Note to pick-up truck drivers: Don't park in front of a school to take a nap you jackass. I don't want my kids hearing that crap!
The second sign would be the onslaught of visitors not so subtly offering you 500 baht if you'll vote for their candidate. *Note to vote buyers: If your douche bag candidate would put all that money he is throwing around into something important, like your outdated education system, people might just vote for him.
And last but not least, the third sure sign that it's election time in Thailand, the assassinations. A few days ago someone blew away the executive of the Lopburi district. No one will miss him because he was apparently even more corrupt than usual. He even pissed off the bad guys. I think that the fact that he had to go everywhere with a police escort should have been a wake-up call to him that a few changes might have been in order. The first year I was here, I had to attend four funerals, and that was just for politicians in our area. *Note to assassins: If you are going to take these thieving bastards out, start at the top. You might actually have some effect that way.
In what can only be described as a war crime the Thai military has begun shooting protestors using snipers on rooftops in an effort to quell dissent in the capitol of Bangkok.
The country of 64 million people is one of the poorest and most desperate countries in Asia, led by a military regime already known for its brutality. Around government buildings in Bangkok the military has pinned up notices which say “Live Firing Zone.”, basically allowing the snipers to shoot anyone spotted protesting or speaking to the media.
In one incident a protestor was shot in mid conversation while speaking to a reporter.
A Canadian journalist was also shot and injured, one of three journalists wounded in the fighting so far. The soldiers claim they only fire in self defense, but this does not explain the wounded journalists and civilians who are shot by snipers without warning.
So far at least 42 people have been shot and killed and another 1400+ people have been injured since the stand off began 2 months ago. Protestors have erected barricades across streets and are demanding the resignation of the government. In the last 2 days alone 24 people have been killed and another 200+ injured.
So far the army has used snipers, tear gas, rubber bullets and live ammunition against the protesters, who throw Molotov cocktails and rocks in response. Some have armed themselves with slingshots and also set cars on fire and roll burning tires at the soldiers.
Central to the fighting in the corrupt ruling class elite who control Thailand's government and military. Protestors, often known as Red Shirts, want the return of exiled former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, who was ousted in a military coup in 2006 but is rumoured to be corrupt.
What Thailand needs is a new election and new leaders to choose from, but since this is also a struggle being the rich elite and the poor (in a country that is very poor) it is difficult to find leaders who are wealthy enough to run in an election who aren't corrupt.
In 2006 the military junta overthrew the government, dissolved Parliament, got rid of the constitution and declared martial law. Thailand's tourism industry promotes itself as the “Land of Smiles.”
*This was re-posted from The Lilith News.
Thank God that the national past-time here is pretending that things didn't happen. What a fucking looney bin!
Here they are folks, the cream of the crop of the 2010 - 2011 school year at Penpattana. This is, or was, my M-2/5 class. They were not my highest skilled class ever, but they were pretty close. They were the most colorful bunch I have ever had, though. Take the 2 boys in front.
The one on the left's name is Bom. He was a hoot. At first, he wouldn't do a damn thing, and on the rare occasion that he did, he just had one of the other kids copy his work for him. He has always been the biggest kid in the class, so even the teachers don't argue with him. This got old quick, but he seemed determined to do nothing. I finally had had enough, and told him that if he wasn't going to do anything, then he could get the hell out of the class. He refused. I told him to leave, again. He refused, again. I picked him, and his desk up, and dumped his happy ass out the door. Bom quickly realized that he was not now the biggest, and by far not the meanest guy in class anymore. I never had a bit of trouble out of him after that, and his grades improved quite a bit.
The other guy is Ron. Ron was the class clown that couldn't stay quiet for more than a minute or so. This actually came in quite handy, because Ron has no fear what so ever of trying to speak English. He was my go-to kid if the lesson was slowing down. Although, I once asked the class who or what they dreamt of being some day. I got a lot of the standard answers like a doctor, nurse, pilot, policeman, etc. Ron said he dreamed of being Lady GaGa. Who knew?
Do you see, in the first row of the kids that are standing, the second from the left. She is leaning forward. That's Tip. I have had Tip in my classes for 4 years now. I think she was a good student, but I am not sure, because she was never there. Every day, without fail, Tip had to go see a teacher, or take a folder somewhere, or had a special something or other to do that day. It wasn't just my class either. There are about a dozen of them that seemed to have adopted the role of an assistant teacher, or secretary. Wonderful girl, and smart as heck...I think.
Upper most left, giving the mandatory little Asian girl peace sign thing. That's one of the students that I am the most proud of, Bpla. Her name means fish. Someday, I would love to be there when a Thai child is born, just so I can see the process that Thai parents go through when naming their children. I can only assume that it involves mass quantities of alcohol. I have had students whose name's translate to fish, chicken, frog, pan, nurse, and dozens of other animals or occupations. The crown goes to one of my boys whose name is Foremost. When asked, he says that yes, his dad named him after a dairy company. Apparently there was an empty milk container sitting on the table at the time. Reminds me of the "2 dogs f***ing" joke.
The teacher's name is Eng. Sweet as can be, and actually speaks English pretty well. She has been a big help to me over the years. She has a good grasp of the difference between what everyone thinks the kids can do, and what they actually can do.
I will miss these kids this year. But, there is a new crop to take the place, as there always is.
Quora asked which photo people thought was the most epic photo ever taken. Many are classic shots that we have all seen, but there were also a lot of pics that I had never seen. Some were amazing, like the sunny day/fireworks display/Lighting storm/Comet all in one shot. And some were truly heart wrenching, like the 9-11 photos, or the pic of the starving little girl trying to crawl the 1 kilometer to the food distribution station. There are lots of incredible shots here, check them out.
Ha Ha! You thought you were in for some of Pattaya's naked cutie babes, didn't you? Well, not today (that does sound like a good idea for a post though, stay tuned).
One of the fun things about being here is the fact that they have lots of holidays and celebrations. It seems like once a week, they are having a celebration for one thing or another. Our school jumps right into the festive mood too. A big dance routine is what usually happens. They are always very colorful, and last for about an hour. That's cool, because it means I get to miss the first class of the day.
This photo is of the dance team that does most of the routines. The faces change as the girls and boys come and go, but they always put on a great show. Miss Roong is in charge of setting these things up, and doing the choreography. She also teaches the kids classic Thai dance, which is quite beautiful to watch.
Have you "Planked" lately? Planking seems to be the latest "I can't think of anything better to do" craze to be sweeping the planet. Well, at least Australia. Apparently, to Plank, one must lay face down and stiff as a board in the most ridiculous or dangerous place one can find, and get a photo of it. You then post your plank proof on Twitter.
I may try and get my entire 7th grade class to do it, and go for some sort of Planking record. Of course, I will wait until just after a really good rain to do it. I have even made a few t-shirt designs about the new Planking fad. Let's see whether we have another meme on our hands.
A little while ago, a few of the teachers from my school got to take a helicopter ride that had something to do with their scouting. The scouts are a big thing here. Just about every school has a scouting program that seems to be mandatory. That is Aww on the far bottom right in the close-up, and Peaw next to her in the middle. I know two of the others, but I don't see them that often at school, so I am not sure about the names.
They flew around the Lopburi area. Lopburi is about 45 kms to the west of us, and has about 65,000 people.
This has got to be one of the coolest pics I have ever seen. I think it is a monestary in Greece. I would love to live there. Not in a monestary I mean, I would have it de-monked first, of course.
Our daughter Pukky has just started making her own t-shirt designs on RedBubble. She has several pretty cute designs up now, but one has grabbed some attention from the powers that be. Her starfish design made it to the RedBubble homepage. Great exposure and that warm fuzzy feeling all at once, you gotta love it.
Both of our daughters, Palmiez and Pukky, are in to computers. Palmiez has just graduated from university and gotten her first job as a programmer. Pukky is getting ready to start uni, and will probably follow along the same path. Or will she? Pukky loves to draw, and is really quite good at it. Drawing on the computer with Photoshop is new to her, but she is really going at it. She has even opened up a t-shirt shop on RedBubble to sell her new designs.
She is going by the name of "MooPukkyKa", which translates to something like "Little Pig Pukky". The "ka" on the end is a polite article that doesn't really have an exact translation that I know of. You just add it to everything you say here to be polite if you're a girl, or you add "kob" if you're a guy.
She did this one to celebrate "Drawing Day" last week. Pukky has 4-5 artworks up now, and she is really getting good at using Photoshop. Try and stop by her shop and see what she is up to.
Say hello to my Godji tee design. As we all know, our friends in Japan just got spanked by a really nasty earthquake. Is it just me, or does this kind of thing seem to be happening more often these days? Anyway, A lot of my friends on RedBubble are into Japanese art and such, so we all want to do what we can to help out. Now, you would think that the ridiculous amount of money I have spent on Godzilla movies alone would be able to repair all the damage, but amazingly, its not. So, a lot of us are doing t-shirt, print, or postcard designs and donating the proceeds to any of the several Japanese aid organizations that have been set up. Mine are going to The Japanese Red Cross Society.
I have only sold 4 so far, but that comes out to about $20. That doesn't sound like much, but if everyone that could afford it sent that much, it would add up to millions. That would do a lot of good for our friends across the way. I don't even want to imagine a world without sushi, sake, giant rubber monster movies, or hentai, so please do what you can to help. Head over to RedBubble and choose from one of the many great artworks that have been created to lend a helping hand. Thanks!
Well well well, it's visa time again. Every year, I have to go and have my visa stamped so I can stay another year in hell...err, paradise, yeah yeah, paradise. I shouldn't really complain, because I usually don't have a lot of trouble with this. Roong is a fairly high ranking government officer, so most of the people we have to deal with don't want to incur her wrath. She's little, but she has great big pointy teeth.
The complication that seems to be unavoidable is the fact that I also have to get my new work permit and my new job contract all in the same month. Now, you would think that there should be some way to set this up so it can all be done on the same day, wouldn't you? We have tried, but if you don't shoot yourself in the foot, Thailand is always there to do it for you. Trust me, they are experts at wasting time and money. You can't get your visa unless you have a work permit, and you can't get your work permit without a visa. So, I have to go get a temporary work permit to get my visa, get my visa, and then go back and get my full work permit. At first, this sucked because we had to make two trips to Bangkok, and two trips to Lopburi to do all of it.
The Bangkok office is not a user friendly place. It's noisy, overcrowded, under staffed, and the staff that is there are pretty clueless. It took all day to get anything done, and there was a good chance that you would run into a problem and have to come back again to fix it. No two of the officers there did things the same way, or required the same documentation. Weird, eh? We had to miss a day of work every time we went there.
But, they have since opened an office in Lopburi. This has helped a lot. The staff there is very nice, and they all do things exactly the same way. The only problem we had this time was with the Ministry of Education. In an effort to prove that were hit with the same big "DUH" stick like all the other government offices I have had to deal with, they decided to date my two year extension for sometime in January. WHY?????????
I always take my teacher's test in May, and my visa, work permit, and contract all run out in March. Why these boobs picked that random date is still a mystery. But, it means that I have to go do everything twice now, because you can't do one without the other. So, once again I have to go get a temporary one of these, to get a temporary one of those, to get a permanent one of these, to get a permanent one of those, so I can keep doing this, here. ;p
One thing did help a bit. As the nice lady at the Visa office was explaining the latest crop of difficulties that we were headed for, she also mentioned that their office was selling fund raising tickets to some kind of live talk show that was coming soon. The money was being raised so that the Visa office could build a new building for themselves. It seems that they are borrowing the one they are using from some other agency. The tickets are 1000 baht each. Upon hearing this, Roong gave the slightest of knowing smiles, and assured the nice lady that we were there for no other reason than to support our fellow government employees. Buying the tickets, coupled with the fact that Roong went to university with about half of the women in the office, seemed to help.
Our fund raising friend then excused herself to go talk to her boss for a minute. When she returned, she went into a rather impressive 30 second two handed permit stamping flurry. Then, she winked, smiled, handed me my passport and two tickets, and said "Everything OK now!"
Visa day is always a roller coaster ride of emotions, but I have learned that if you keep calm, pay attention, and have married a woman with some serious rank, an opportunity to umm... make things easier will eventually appear.
The big day has come and gone. Last Friday, we all went to Roong's university so she could get her Masters diploma from big princess. The girls took a few hundred photos, most of which had absolutely nothing to do with the day's festivities, and had at least one head cut off in each of them. This is a shot of us in front of the small lake in the center of the campus (lots of very large tutrtles in there). From left to right, Palmiez (AKA Ms. Chewiize Shinoda and No. 2 Boo Boo), Puk (AKA Moo noi and No. 3 Boo Boo), Roong (AKA Big Mama and No.1 Boo Boo), and me (AKA Big Daddy and Papa moo).
We went down there Thursday after work. That evening, Roong and Puk wandered around and did what ever it is that they do. I went to The Dubliner for some cold American beer, a good cigar, food that I recognized, and people that speak the same language that I do. I got all that and a handful of cute waitresses, I was content. The next morning, it was off to the ceremony.
The day was fairly busy for all of us, except Roong. They locked all of the graduates in a big room and wouldn't even let them out to pee until after the princess had came and left. I feel sorry for the princess because during that week she had to hand out about 40,000 diplomas. Each student had about 3 seconds to step up, do their little royal hand gesture to receive their diploma, and then take a few steps back and bow.
The princess pulled up in her dijon mustard colored Rolls Royce at about 9 am. She was followed by a small fleet of red Mercedes Benz'. I'm not sure who all of those people were. Anyway, since we couldn't go into the building, I took the girls shopping.
First we headed for Siam Paragon. It's a huge department store about an hour by taxi across Bangkok. The bookstore was amazing, but very expensive, so I didn't get anything. I will go back and raid it some day though. There was a Lamborghini dealer on the 3rd floor. The girls were baffled as to how they might have gotten the cars up there to the showroom. There were two beautiful salesgirls in there, but they were both fast asleep in their chairs. I wonder how many people actually buy luxury sports cars at the mall?
After that we had lunch at Burger King. Yeah, I know, but when you only get to eat that garbage once a year or so, you miss it. Then we jumped on the subway and went to a different mall to get Puk's uniforms, but I don't remember the name of it. We found a place to get Puk's uniforms easy enough, but waiting for her to pick out a pair of shoes took a while. She seemed happy enough with everything.
Then, we headed back to the campus. 3 hours of 90 degrees and 99% humidity. Since no one was allowed in the room with the princess, they televised the ceremony on TV in many of the other buildings. We found one with air conditioning and watched a bit of it. After it was all over, and the princess had gone, we found Roong in the crowd and tried to head for the exit. It was about then that her sister Thaa and her husband Egg showed up. Time for more mandatory photos. I was having a nicotine withdrawal fit about then because you can't smoke on the campus, so Palmiez and I hit the gate while they took photos.
Thaa had apparently already made a reservation at some Japanese restaurant on the other side of the city for dinner. That was a bit far for us after a busy day, besides the fact that none of us like Japanese food all that much. But, the girls wanted to go, so they headed off and Roong and I went back to the hotel for a nap. With the exception of 2 double Whoppers with cheese, extra pickles,tomatoes, and mustard, possibly the best part of the day.
Later that evening, we wanted to go out to eat, but weren't sure what we wanted. I remembered that I had heard a friend mention that Bangkok was now sporting a few Mexican restaurants that were supposed to be pretty good. So, we tried to find one. I first asked the people at the hotel if they knew where one was. I should have known better. They had no clue, no phone book, and apparently no 411 service. Plan B was to ask a taxi driver. That worked better. He made a few phone calls, and came up with "Sunrise Tacos" on Suhkumvit Rd. Off we went.
That place wasn't bad at all. It's about half a step above a Taco Bell, but the food and the service was good. I got a burrito that was the size of the NY Times rolled up, and all the sour cream and guacamole I could handle, and was in heaven. Roong had her first Quesadilla. Roong isn't a big meat eater, so it was a bit much for her. But, she seemed to like the taste, and will probably enjoy it more the next time, now that she knows how to adjust her order.
As I was getting ready to leave the bar Thursday night it struck me that I still had about 450 test papers to grade, which equals roughly 25,000 questions that I had to wade through. I sat back down and had 2 more beers. We headed back home early this morning to get caught up on everything we gotten to escape from for a few short days. I think I have to go take those damn teachers tests again in May. Only 60 more days until beer and burritos!
Roong's graduation ceremony is almost here. She has to go and practice a few times before the actual event. She will receive her Master's Degree diploma from "Big Princess" on the 4th of March. There will be many thousands of people graduating during that week. Roong was told that they only want each person to take something like 3 seconds to receive their diploma from the princess.
The girls and I are going, but we won't get to see much. For security reasons, only the graduates are allowed in the room with the princess. No cell phones or anything are allowed to be carried in there either. We have to watch the ceremony on a big monitor outside of the hall.
Roong has to practice all morning, and then will graduate in the afternoon. So, I will take the girls shopping while she is doing the practicing, and then come back to watch the ceremony. Puk needs to get her university uniforms and such for her first term. The ceremony will be held in Bangkok, so we can hit some decent stores for a change. I haven't had any bad pizza or been to a good bookstore since last year. Hmmm, on second thought, I'd rather have good pizza and a bad bookstore.
I had a rather odd thing happen at school today. On Friday, my last class is M-2/4 (8th grade). They are pretty good kids, and they work hard so they usually finish the lesson a few minutes early. The school is shaped like a horseshoe, and this class is in one of the inside corners, right next to the bathroom. Just before this class ends, there are a steady stream of P-5 kids (5th grade) going back and forth from the bathroom going past my class.
One day, a few months ago I happened to step out into the hall about this time amidst the flow. I guess I should mention that I have been known to tease the kids a bit, just to get them fired up before they go back to class. I will jump out and roar at them, or give them a quick snap with my handkerchief. They laugh and scatter, and make it a game to see if they can get by my room without getting caught.
Anyway, on this particular day I had just stepped out of the class and was looking down the hall, when I happened to lock eyes with one of the kids that I hadn't seen before. Usually, when they see me for the first time, they are just curious or sometimes a bit shy. This kid reacted in a whole new way. He stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes got huge, and he turned around and ran all the way back around to the other side of the building and into his classroom. That's a good 200 yards, and he covered the distance pretty damn quick. But, I didn't see which room he ran into. Job, one of my students, had walked out into the hall at the same time I had and saw it too. We just kind of looked at each other and gave a WTF shrug, and forgot about it.
Well, it happened again on the next Friday, and just about every one after that too. After a few of these, I had to find out what had this kid so scared. So, The next time I saw the kids starting to come by, I had Job go out and look for the kid. He found him standing in the same spot he always was staring at my room. Job told him that I was in the teacher's office, and that it was Ok to go by. As they got even with my room, I slowly stepped out of the doorway. The kid freaked! Job grabbed him by the arm to keep him there so I could ask him what was wrong, but that only made things worse. He started shrieking and bawling his eyes out. Job let him go, and he took off like a shot back to his room.
But this time, we saw where he went. I wasn't sure how much English the kid could speak, so I took Job and Ploy with me to translate if need be. We walked around to his classroom to see what the hell was going on. He apparently saw us coming, because when we got there, he had wedged himself behind the classroom door and the wall. This would probably had been more effective if it weren't for the fact the the classroom doors are made of glass. But, there he was with his hands covering his face, and crying his eyes out like it was the judgment day.
Ploy tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't answer her. His teacher was there, so I asked her if he was off his meds, or what? After a few minutes, she finally got him to calm down enough to ask him what was wrong, what was he so afraid of. Between the sniffs and tears he finally sputtered that it was me he was afraid of. When she asked him why, he said it was because I was a mountain giant, and he was afraid that I was going to eat him.
A mountain giant!? You have got to be kidding me. I mean, I stand at least 2 ft taller than the average kid at the school and close to a foot taller than most of the teachers, but that is ridiculous! I couldn't help but laugh. That didn't help much. His teacher assured him that everything was alright, and that nothing was going to happen to him. He stopped crying finally and came out from behind the door. After a few minutes of "there there there's" and back patting, he seemed to recover a bit, but was still wary.
As a final parting gesture I extended my hand and offered to shake his. After a moment of hesitation he timidly accepted it. As he did, I leaned in close to his ear, and in my best broken Thai, assured him that I wasn't going to eat him today........but that I was sure that he'd be nice and crunchy, and taste good with ketchup!
I can't wait until I have him in my class next year! ;)
RedBubble has a special section called "The Buyer's Booth". It's a place where people that have purchased t-shirts and stuff on RB can send in a photo of themselves, or whomever, sporting their latest fashion acquisition. Someone was nice enough to send in a shot of their son Zak wearing one of my "Rabbit Hand Shadow" baby tees. I am not sure who the rabbit laying next to him is, some wannabee I guess.
Zak has a pretty big smile on his face, but I am not sure if it is due to the fact that he knows he is looking sharp in his new Mobii art t-shirt, or because he just filled his diaper. Hey, as long as he's happy!
Are you worried that you have gained a few extra pounds? Do you think you might be working up a bit of a spare tire? Don't bother asking your other half. You know damn well we have to lie, or risk eternal damnation. If you want to know the truth (and you know you can't handle the truth!), just pick up a hula hoop and have a go at it. That will answer your question real quick. Because, fat people can't hula-hoop!
Here's what happened. Mondays and Tuesdays are my busiest days at school. I have a full load of classes, and most of them are my ....umm.... less than brilliant students. It can be nerve racking, to say the least. Anyway, after Tuesday's battle, I went to Bannok to have enough beers to convince myself that it was all just a bad dream. My wife stopped by on her way home, and we talked for a bit before she left.
There was no one else there for about an hour, and I was quite content just having a few, and listening to music on my mp3 player. Then, Gee (one of the waitresses) walked in sporting a pair of hula hoops. One large one, and one small one. She spun the large one, and made it look like it was the easiest thing in the world. I think she even called her boyfriend on her cell phone while she was doing it.
Well, the other girls, including Eid (the owner) all gave it a shot, and had no trouble at all. Then, they asked me if i wanted to try. Now, I am sure that I could hula-hoop when I was a kid. I am quite sure that I remember doing it. But, I couldn't even get it to go around twice. The obvious reason to me was that it's because I have no waist. Basic physics tells me that if the hoop doesn't have a slighter axis point to rotate one, then gravity will take charge and it will go down like Oprah on a baked ham.
The girls thought that this was hysterical. They decided that men can't hula-hoop. I got Eid's cousin to give it a try. He isn't as big as I am, but living in a restaurant hasn't helped his figure any. He couldn't do it either. So, I called on Air to try it. He has given up his fake boobs, but is still built like a tall skinny girl. No success there either, and he has hips! he was worse than I was at it.
About then, Blinky came out of the back room. We asked her to give it a try. Luckily for us, her hula-hooping is about as good as her karaoke singing. And, even though she has a smoking hot body, she couldn't even get it to go around once. Haaa! But, even with that small victory, the rule seems to be that unless you have at least some type of waist, you aren't going to be able to hula the hoop.
I have now vowed to lose enough weight to be able to hula-hoop better than Blinky can. This may take a while.
It looks like Thailand has it's new Prime Minister. Meet Ms. Yingluck Shinawatra. What's that? You say that her last name sounds mighty familiar? Well, it should, she's the little sister of none other than Thailand's former convicted criminal Prime Minister, your friend and mine, Thaksin Sinawatra.
