On the River

As you know, last weekend was our Bangkok adventure. Friday night, it was every man, woman, or child for themselves. The girls went out and did whatever it is that they do, and I hit my favorite watering hole. Saturday was Palmiez' graduation ceremony day, and that night we wanted to take her somewhere special for dinner. There's a lot to do in BKK, but we weren't sure what would be just right for this special day. I think it was Roong who suggested the dinner cruise. It sounded like a great idea, because none of us had ever been on one here before. So, off we went.....

First, there was a lot of this. Bangkok is the only place I know that can actually have a full scale traffic jam working at 9pm on a Sunday night. It's amazing.

Once we finally got there, we waited for about 45 mins until our boat docked and we could board. We ended up sitting out on deck in the bow. That was fine for me. There was a nice cool breeze, and Roong had lots of things to try and take pictures of. (key word = try) The food and bev selection was very nice and our waiter was great. My only complaint would be that as usual, the food was served cold. It was a buffet style dinner, and the food was in warmer trays, but for some reason they never seem to remember to put the candles under them to keep the food hot. I mean anywhere.

This is a really cool suspension bridge that was about half way down the length of our 2 hour cruise. Roong tried to get several shots of it, but this is the only one that turned out fairly well.

There were dozens of these little turtle boats running back and forth across the river. All they do all day and night is ferry people back and forth across the river. They also seem to try and cut as close in front of the bigger boats as they can, much to the delight of the passengers.

Here's another shot of that bridge from a little farther out. It looks like a giant candle from one side, and a flying V guitar from the other.

Here are Puk and her boyfriend Mack. This was the first time he and the rest of us had actually spent any time together. Partly because he lives in Bangkok, and partly because his mom is a kook.

More Mack and Pukkiness.

These 2 shots are of the King's Wat (temple). We have visited it before, but I didn't realize how close it was to the river.

Mack, Puk, and Palmiez

A few shots of Roong and I. Roong seemed to have a great time. At least that is what I gathered from all the camera snapping that was going on.

One last shot of the King's Wat as we were headed back to the dock. All in all, it was a very nice time, and I think we might do it again for some other special occasion.

A Great Escape and A 1000 baht Burrito

Haaaa! I got away from zombieland.....err..... Pattananikom for 3 whole f#$@ing days! Roong and I went to Bangkok for Palmiez' graduation last weekend. The ceremony was on Saturday, so we had Friday night and all of Sunday to wander about. Friday night the girls went out for dinner, and a little shopping. I on the other hand made a beeline to the Dubliner, of course.


The last 2 times I have gotten to go there, they weren't serving beer, because it was some Buddhist holiday or something. As I only get to go there once or twice a year, I was pretty pissed about the whole thing. No such troubles this time though.

The music was good, the beer was cold, and the waitresses were as pretty as ever. I don't remember the name of the band, but the singer's name was Mia. I talked to a friend of hers named Fred for most of the night. I also ran into Steve there. He was apparently heading off to meet friends at the Q-bar, but stopped at the Dubliner for a few first. I haven't seen him in months, so it was great to catch up.

Just before I left, I tried to order some food, but the kitchen had already closed. Luckily, there is a killer Mexican food place just a few blocks away that is open 24-7. I went in, and ordered a monster beef burrito with a side bucket of sour cream to go. When it was ready, they brought me the check and I tossed him a 1000 baht note, got the change, tipped him 100, and took off.

(judging by the photo, I think I had a few there too while waiting)

It wasn't until I was in the cab headed back to the hotel that I noticed that I only had about 40 baht in my hand. WTF?! I figured I must have given him 500 by mistake. As I was still pretty buzzed, it didn't bother me too bad though.

By the time I got back to the room, I was sobering up, and getting a bit irritated. I then looked in the bag, only to find not 1, but 2 monster beefy burritos, and more sour cream than anyone would want to deal with. No wonder it was so expensive, they're like 300 baht a piece. Anyway, I was in heaven. I think I ate about1/2 of one, and then was out like a light. I know I woke up at least 3 times during the night, and scarfed down another 1/2 of one of those bad boys each time.

I have to go to the doctor next week for my annual check-up. She's gonna be pissed!

Palmiez' Graduation Day

Roong, Palmiez, and Pukky

Palmiez - Serious

Palmiez - Not Serious

Me, Palmiez, and Puk

A graduated Palmiez

This past weekend, Roong and I went to Bangkok for 3 days for our oldest daughter Palmiez' graduation day. Pom Pom actually finished university about a year ago, but since they usually have a member of the royal family handing out the diplomas, it can take a while to get done.

The ceremony was held at a convention center on the west side of Bangkok. The place was pretty nice, and we had no trouble getting a taxi to go there, or come back. It was only about 20 minutes from our favorite hotel.

The thing that struck me about all this was that while there were some 3000 students there, there were also more than 2000 photographers. Each student hires their own personal photographer to follow them around for 4 hours or so taking photos. Some had 2. They had the kids posing all over the place. It got to be kind of funny, because it's not like they were on a set, or somewhere that actually had any scenery. Just a lot of concrete.

Anyway, our baby girl looked absolutely fabulous, and was having a blast posing for the cameras. We are so very very proud of her! Only 3 more years, and it will be Puk's turn.

Big Daddy and Little Pig vs The Croc

Oh yeah, we won! The girls are home for a 4 day New Year holiday this week. We didn't go out on New Years itself, because it is amateur hour around here that night. We did, however, go out last night for a bit of fun. Out of the blue, Roong said that she wanted to go to "Good View" in Lopburi. That in itself was a reason to celebrate. I like going there a hell of a lot more than going to Bannok all the time. "Good View" has real musicians that play relaxed folk music for a few hours, and then they change bands for a little more upbeat music. Anything is better than that awful karaoke at "Bannok". Besides, the food, and the atmosphere, are better, and the waitresses are soooooooo much prettier. The staff has changed since the last time I was there, but the lovely Miss Sai was still standing by the entrance waiting to greet the customers. It was great to see her again, and it was big hugs all around as usual.

The girls ordered pretty normal fare to eat at first. Som tom and big fish I think it was. After that, Pukky was still hungry so she took a more serious look at their new menu. They have always had a really nice seafood selection, but they have since added a few new things. The new ones that jumped out at her were the jellyfish and the crocodile dishes. Ok, the jellyfish didn't really sound to appealing to anyone, but Puk and I were determined to try the crocodile. I think it was a revenge thing, because ever since the floods came there have been a lot of crocs on the loose and making mischief in Bangkok. Though secretly, I had hoped that they might put a dent in the stray dog problem here.

Palmiez asked the waiter what crocodile tasted like, and he told her that it tastes like chicken. Umm...dude, chicken tastes like chicken pork tastes like pork, beef tastes like beef, and god only knows what jellyfish tastes like. Pukapow and I severely doubted that big lizard was going to taste like chicken.

When it finally arrived, the first thing the guy did was to set an empty red hot cast iron plate on the table. The serving portion seemed a bit small to me, but I didn't say anything. Then, one of the girls (whose name I can't remember, but whose ass will live forever in my dreams) dumped the dish itself on to the plate. It literally exploded in a frenzy of oil popping madness. We had to sit back for a few moments until it had settled down a bit.

Pukky was the first to attack it. Like she usually does with something new, she stabbed a piece and gave it a serious sniff. She made her "I'm not sure yet, so I better eat it" face, and then had at it. She liked it! That was good enough for me, so I dug in too.

Guess what!? It tastes like f*cking chicken! It reminds me of shark, because it has a very heavy, rich texture to it, but it really did taste like chicken. I was relieved, but also a bit disappointed, because I was expecting something at least a little more exotic for 200 baht a plate. After 10 minutes of coaxing, we finally got Palmiez and Roong to give it a try. Neither seemed very impressed, but they both said it wasn't bad. Whatever, Pukky and I had fun with it.

All in all, it was a very enjoyable evening, and a nice way to ring in the New Year. Palmiez will finally have her graduation ceremony on Jan. 7, so I am looking forward to trip to Bangkok next weekend. I haven't had a cheeseburger in 6 months. I hope to hell they don't taste like chicken!

Micro Wars

This thing actually works! Microwave ovens have been around for quite a while now. Even so, I will be the first to admit that cooking with one is still a bit of a mystery to me. I can reheat leftovers with the best of them, but that's about it. This can be a bummer, especially in the morning. It's usually just toast, juice, and coffee. I don't really even like coffee, but it's quick and easy to make. I long for the days when I was truck driving, and could just swing into a Flying-J truck stop, and scarf down a massive plate of hash browns, sausage, and biscuits and gravy at the $6.99 buffet. My cholesterol was hovering in the mid 300's then I believe. Anyway...

Yesterday, Roong an I had to go to the doctor, get my 90 day visa stamp, and run a few other errands. While we were at Big-C (Wal-Mart's retarded Asian cousin), we stumbled across this little doodad. I like having an egg sandwich for breakfast, but it takes more time to cook it than it does to eat it. As Roong is definitely NOT a morning person, time is a major factor. So, we gave it a shot. It works great. It makes a perfect poached or hard yolked egg in 1 min and 30 sec. That's almost the exact same amount of time that it takes to make the toast for it. Now I can have a little variety in the morning. And, as Martha would say, "That's a good thing!"

Bangkok Flood Photos

What can you say? Lots of water, and crocodiles. We haven't had any rain in a few days now, so hopefully, the water will start to recede now.

Bangkok Floods

People have been asking me just how badly Bangkok is flooding, well....

Thailand

I know you guys think I make a lot of this shit up, but I don't. What other country in the world, can you have a 10 ft croc taking a peek inside your front door to see if there are any goodies laying around.

New York Comic Con

The New York Comic Convention has begun! There are more comic books and comic book fans there than I could probably even imagine. I would like to go there, just to meet some of the artists to ask them questions about the "how to's" of what they do. I know it would help me improve my t-shirt designs.

This year is really special because RedBubble has a booth there. They took some of our designs to show off to promote business. You can't see all of them from these few photos, but judging from the chatter, they chose some really great designs from some of the most talented artists on the bubble.

And last, but not least is the money shot. Look at the "RedBubble.com" banner there. You see the row of designs along the bottom of it? Look closer at the first design in line. Yup! It's the rabbit. Rabbit Hand Shadow made it all the way to NYC. Not bad coverage considering he's less than a year old, and made it there all the way from Buffalo Biscuit, Thailand. My 15 minutes of fame at last! Hoot, whistle, and applaud at will!

Special thanks and a hearty handshake to OneTonShadow for getting the rabbit on the NYC Comic Con deal!

Plan 9 From Thailand

On October 11, a fleet of some 1,000 boats will help push water from the Chao Phraya River into the sea fast, Science and Technology Minister Plodprasop Suraswadi said Saturday.

At the boat project launch held at Nonthaburi's Pakkred Pier with 40 boats attending, Plodprasop said that this voluntarybase project would help drain water three times faster, from two knots to six knots, and prevent floodwater from pouring into Bangkok City. He said the 1,000boat fleet would push water down to the sea on October 11, as to help lower flood in the Chao Phraya Riverside provinces such as Sing Buri, Angthong and Ayutthaya.

* Apparently the river goddess wasn't listening, so here's Plan B. This just keeps getting better!

Thai Flood Strategy

Translation:

"Most Urgent: Memo

Office : Bangkok (Office of Permanent Secretary of Bangkok Metropolitan Authority Tel. 0 2224 xxxx or Tel. xxxx Fax. xxxx)
No.: Kor Thor 0403/1093 Date: 7th of October 2011

Subject: Invitation to the Brahman water-lowering ceremony

To Directors and Departmental Heads of the Bangkok Metropolitan Administration

The Bangkok Metropolitan Administration has arranged a Brahman water-lowering ceremony on Saturday the 8th of October 2011 at 14.39 at the Bangkok City Pillar Shrine to beg to Kang Ka, the River Goddess, to lower the flood in Bangkok rapidly.

Therefore, we invite you to attend this ceremony with the agenda as follows:
14.39 hrs. Worship Ceremony (Barhma Ceremony)
15.09 hrs Chanting Ceremony

Meet at 14.00 hrs at the Bangkok City Pillar Shrine Dress Thai dress or polite dress

For your information"

This is their best idea?

English Camp 2011

Ahhhh.... Time for another Penpattana School English Camp! *GROAN!* I'm just kidding, it really isn't that bad. We just divide the kids into groups of grades 1-3 for Saturday, and 4-6 for Sunday. My team and I came up with a few games for them to play, and the rest just turns out as it will. The hardest part for me is the few minutes I have to talk to the entire group the first thing in the morning. Everyone is watching as I try to fire up 500 little monsters that can't understand a word I'm saying. I have no idea if the students really do learn any English from any of this, but they appear to have fun.

Luckily, there are always a few kids in the front row that will try anything, so I can interact with them to get a few laughs.

This game was like an alphabet tic-tac-toe game. They had to throw paper airplanes into little boxes to get letters to make words. I am trying to explain to 40 6 yr olds how to make a paper airplane.
This was the best part of the games. The losers had to do the chicken dance! They all line up, and the winning team sings one of the many silly little nonsense songs they have, while the losing team does this weird little dance to it. The words to the song are something like......

"Chicken 5 baht
Chicken 5 baht
Put it on a stick
Put it on a stick
Cook it now
Cook it now
Very very hot!
Very hot!
Very hot!"

And last but not least, my fearless team. They always give me 3 - 4 teachers to help with the games. Usually, at least one of them speaks a little English, so it goes pretty well. They do a great job of keeping the kids in line and focused. There were 9 different games, so we only had each group for about 30 minutes.

R.I.P. Thuy

One of my M-2 students was shot the other day. Thuy was a pretty average student. But, he never caused much trouble, he did his lessons, and paid attention most of the time. He seemed to be a pretty happy kid. I can't ask for much more that that here. His classmates and I will miss him.

I asked around about what had happen, but only found the normal clueless smiley face blank stares and gibberish riddled answers. Some of his classmates said that apparently, someone was angry with his mother, so a few of the local dirt bags rolled up and shot her. He was shot because he was there too. I can't imagine what she could have done to deserve that in the little one horse town of Koksaleung. And I certainly can't understand why a teenage boy had to die because of it too.

But, that is the way things are here. They can't handle any type of confrontation, or the mental stress of actually working out a solution to a problem. Just pay someone off, or pay someone to stab it in the back. If you can't cheat and win, corrupt it beyond recognition.

I know what your next question is, and the answer is "no". Of course the police haven't arrested anyone, nor do they have any suspects. That's not the way it's done here. I am sure everyone involved in this has already been paid for their effort, or their lack of effort. This will just fade away, like they always do. I'll be glad when election time is over.

Pom Kow Jai!

Now, I understand! All this time, I thought it was the educational system that needed work. It's not, the kids are just drunk. Mystery solved Scooby Doo!

My 15 Seconds of Fame

Haaaa! Life is good. A guy named Justin liked the Rabbit Hand Shadow design. That's always good, of course. But, this is better, because he wants to sell them in his shop in the U.K. They have an online Facebook page called Buxton and Buxton.

Now, you may be thinking, "Ok, so what? A guy bought a few cards.". Well, yeah, a guy bought a few cards, but these will end up in a real brick and mortar place. This means that not only was Justin really really drunk last night, but now, the bun is out of the shadowy gray internet realm, and into the real world. The bun unleashed could cure cancer, stop world hunger, end war, and definitely make your old lady look much more attractive when she does that "I'm wearing your shirt as a nightie" thing. The possibilities boggle the mind.

I stumbled across these two videos that do a great job at showing what it can be like to live over here. This one is pretty much what it's like trying to talk to people here. And the other one, is a great example of how hard it can be to get the kids to actually speak English.

Top 10 Ways to Die in Thailand

1. Vehicle Accident

They say Asians can’t drive. I used to think that only related to Asians in my own country. That was until I started driving in Thailand. Not obeying road rules like indicating, stopping at red lights, slowing for pedestrians and speeding. How about driving a bus full of passengers in the rain and overtaking on a curve going through the mountains. This is what happens every day. Last year alone there were well over 35,000 thousand road fatalities in Thailand that’s out of a population of 60 million. To put it in comparison there are 20 million people in Australia where there were 1,200 road fatalities. That’s about 10 times more likely to have a fatal accident in Thailand than it is in Australia. Keep your eyes on the road.

2. Murdered By A Thai

There are so many different ways foreigners have died at the hands of another Thai that I couldn’t possibly list them all here. However some of the favorite ways it seems Thais’ kill other foreigners are by stabbings. If you get cut by a Thai person it won’t be once, it’ll be many times, they’ll keep cutting you until there is nothing left to cut.

3. Murdered By Foreigner

Lately there has been a swing in trend of Thai murders Farang, it’s now Farang Kills Farang. Swedes will kill Swedes, brits will beat up other brits, and Russians will kneecap other Russians. It’s the way of the future here in Thailand.

4. Suicide

There is something magical about Thailand isn’t there. Like a long lost paradise. Must be why so many people come here to off themselves. Cats run out of money, guys get screwed over, lose a girlfriend, or the problems they ran away from just don’t seem to go away. Whatever it is it typically ends them jumping of a bridge or from a really tall building.

5. Killed by your Thai Girlfriend

If your the kind of guy that fools around on his girlfriend this is a likely way to meet your maker. There are two types of Thai Girls and two different ways to handle her with other women. First girl accepts it and your open with her, second girl repeatedly says she’ll lop your head off. If your with the later girl, then you’ve got a 20% chance to still be breathing if you slap down that bar fine.

6. Being a successful Businessman in Thailand

If you make a successful business in Thailand and make loads of cash then hats of to you. Just watch your back mate! Just like Thai girls have a jealous streak so does the rest of the population. Tall poppy syndrome is rife in Thailand and Thai people hate to see other people do well, they want a piece of it too. So while your on your yearly trip to Vegas with the guys your Thai wife or business holders will write you out of your business and if you return and cause a fuss, they will strangle you, dump you in the river and make it look like a drowning.

7. Heart attack from sex with a young girl

Older gentlemen who frequent Pattaya often and load up on the little magic blue pills will certainly worry about parting earth this way. The excitement for a 60 year old to have a 20 year old young beautiful Thai girl writhing over his gets to be way too much for some people that they will die right there and then. The girl often flees from the scene and if police can’t figure out he had a heart attack it too will go down as unexplained.

8. Food Poisoning

Think twice before you eat that sushi sitting on a side cart in front of 7 eleven, it could be the last thing you eat. Hundreds and hundreds of foreigners die in Thailand every year from sever food poisoning. The authorities can’t find out where you ate once your already gone. Even if it’s not from food off the street could even be a popular restaurant. You might want to hire someone to go around eating food for you in advance to help prevent this one.

9. HIV / AIDS

Thailand has a huge percentage of people with Aids and the prevalence of HIV infection while is down off it’s highs in the 80′s is resurfacing. This is probably due to the younger generation who arn’t subjected to the blitz advertising that the government did back in the 80′s. The younger generation are seemingly unconcerned about STD’s and the harm that Aids can do and continue to practice unsafe sex. The rate of teenage pregnancies is rising and since no one is using protection like they used it’s more likely than ever to catch the HIV virus and die of AIDS.

10. For reasons unknown and unexplained

Many deaths in Thailand go unexplained some conspirators say it’s a cover up by the Thai police, the authorities might bring in experts and like most farang bodies get sent overseas for more tests all of them inconclusive. While we might never know how they really died, we do know that we don’t know how they really died.

*This was re-posted from Chris's blog "Living in Thailand".

I think he left out a few though. There's always a chance that those idiot red shirts could burn the bus you're on, or the building you're in. Or, who knows, you might accidentally come up with an opinion all your own and get busted on that ridiculous "Lese Majeste" law.

See? This shit really does happen here!

Man who ate partner’s dog after it was killed in a monkey attack was shot dead by the owner with a crossbow

A 25-YEAR-OLD man who ate his hunting partner’s dog after it was killed in a monkey attack was shot dead by the canine’s owner with a crossbow last Tuesday. Police said the suspect and the victim were friends who were hunting together in Kratie’s Snuol district. It is understood the suspect shot his friend because he would not help save his dog from being killed in a monkey attack. The victim then took the dead dog home to eat. When the suspect saw this, he fired his crossbow at his friend killing him instantly. Police say the suspect confessed to the crime following his arrest.

RedBubble Front Page!

Ok, everyone that had their artwork featured on the RedBubble home page today, raise your hand. Oh, I'm sorry, I guess it was just me. (bottom right - "Dirt Nap")

T-shirts Help Make the World a Better Place!

Neo-Nazis tricked by T-shirts

By REUTERS
BERLIN - Festival goers at a nationalist, right-wing concert in Germany were taken by surprise when souvenir T-shirts they were given had a secret anti-far right message that emerged only after being washed.

The slogan on the shirts first read “hardcore rebels” along with a skull and nationalist flags. But once washed the slogan turned into a message from a group offering help to right-wing extremists break away from the Neo-Nazi scene.

“If your t-shirt can do it, you can do it too — we’ll help you get away from right-wing extremism,” reads the slogan on the shirts after their first washing.

The anti-far right shirts were handed to 250 people at a “Rock for Germany” concert in Gera by organizers after they had been donated anonymously. They were provided by EXIT, a group which helps people disassociate themselves from the far-right.

Festival organizer Gordon Richter of the far-right NPD party said the stunt was a waste of money.

“It’s kind of pathetic that anyone spent money for something like that,” Richter told Reuters. He said many who got the Trojan horse shirts thought it was a creative idea.

Bernd Wagner, founder of EXIT, said the t-shirts were designed to reach their main target group: right-wing extremists contemplating getting away.

“We wanted to raise awareness about our program, especially among the young and less committed,” Wagner said.

(Reporting by Kalina Oroschakoff, editing by Paul Casciato)

* No H8 tee design available in black or white lettering.