Thailand Has Baseball!

Who knew? I found out by accident. I remembered that it is getting close to World League Baseball Tournament time, so I was looking for info on the net, and stumbled across it. The Thai team apparently played in the last tournament, but got knocked out before the semi-final rounds. I heard that they did beat the Philippines in the SEA games though. That's Ok, they are a very young team, and need experience to grow. I am glad Roong will have a team to cheer for next year. I think she is tired of watching the Thai volleyball team get their asses kicked by all of the amazons that are about 2 ft taller than they are.

Roong found a few photos on the web, and even some Youtube videos, but they are in Thai which explains why I had never seen them before.

Here's a shot of the new Thai baseball team learning some baseball basics. I don't quite remember line dancing as being an integral part of core baseball fundamentals, but what the hell, whatever works for ya man!

If I have a sexual urge, I should play football!

Really?

What should you do when you have a sexual urge?

A. Play football with friends.
B. Talk to your family.
C. Try to go to sleep.
D. Go out with a friend of the opposite sex.
E. Go to a movie with your buddy.

No, this isn't a quiz question from an old edition of Loaded magazine, it's an Ordinary National Educational Test (Onet) exam question set for Grade 12 students in Thailand. The answer is, of course, "A", said National Institute of Educational Testing Services (NIETS) director Dr Samphan Phanphrut. He explained this question was intended to check whether the students understood the nature of sexual desire and how to control or respond to it.

MY first question is, does this apply to both boys and girls, and can they play football together?

I now understand that my priorities have been wrong all these years and that I should have been playing more football in my younger years. Well, we live and learn. Some people had a rather scathing analysis of how this curious question about sexual desire fits in with Thailand's education system as a whole.

Are Thai youth being well served by the Thai education system? The answer at least from the perspective of sex education seems to be a resounding “No.”

Oh, and BTW, it's SOCCER, damn it! Not football, SOCCER!

Facebook made me pregnant!

Facebook causes teen pregnancies!

Seems logical when you think about it. Thailand has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the world, and I am not sure that you could find a teeny bopper here that isn't on Facebook.

With this in mind, Thailand's National Economic and Social Development Board (NESDB) reached the conclusion as young people aged 18-24 are the most prolific demographic on Facebook, this must have something to do with the 120,000 unplanned teen pregnancies there are each year.

The board said that the social media growth is to blame for the teen pregnancy problems as many youngsters post seductive messages or video clips online. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with Thailand's near non-existent school sex education program. No, that can't be it, can it?.

It's all happening at the zoo

Oh well, it's back in purgatory again. But for a few days, I escaped!!! We spent a few days in BKK last weekend, and had a pretty good time. The two highlights of the trip were our trip to the zoo, and finding a Subway sandwich shop. Personally, I had more fun at Subway than I did walking all over the place at the zoo. It isn't nearly as big as I thought it would be, but the girls had never been there though, so they had lots of fun taking photos.

The most memorable thing at the zoo had to be the elephant show. They came out and did all the tricks you would expect, but with one addition. When they came out, the trainer had them all line up facing the audience, turn around, and take a dump. Yep, that's right, take a dump on command. I wonder how long it took them to figure out how to do that. I also wonder why they would want to. This place is so weird.

Palmiez kept saying that she wanted to see the "water cats". I couldn't figure out what she meant. At first, I thought she was talking about the otters. But that wasn't it, she meant the seals. I guess that's how the word for seals translates here. Considering that I have students with names like "Turd", and "Watermelon", these things shouldn't surprise me.

New Schedule

Yep, this is what you imagine when I talk about my Thai students. A bunch of sweet little peace sign waving smiling angels, right? Haaa, you wish! That is what they look like on the outside, but inside, there is a raging inferno of naughtiness just waiting to explode. Well, not in all of them, but most.

They changed my schedule at work about 2 weeks ago. It happened, because one morning I walked into my M-2/1 class, and it was a disaster area. I mean it looked like a bomb went off in there, and all 45 kids were laying around on the floor, or braiding each others hair. I asked them where their teacher was, and they said that she had left several minutes ago. That was odd, because nobody here can tell time, and they always run late with their lessons. I asked them why she left, and they said that they didn't know, but that she was crying. Didn't know? The demons had struck again, and this wasn't the first time. Their teacher is a very sweet girl, and had always seemed to be able to hold her own in a classroom. I had had more than enough.

I was just about to unload on the little shits when the head of our small English department, Miss Aww, happened to walk by. I am getting very tired of being angry all the time, so I called her in. When she saw the state of the place, her jaw dropped to her knees. I explained what had happened, and kind of went off on her because this was getting to be too often of an occurrence.

She didn't say anything for some time, she just stared at the kids. Then she started mumbling softly to herself, and started slowly walking around the room. The more she walked, the gradually louder the mumbling got, until she was shrieking at them. This went on for several minutes, but then stopped as abruptly as it had started. She finally realized that they weren't paying a damn bit of attention to her. In the 5 minutes that she had been raging, not one of the little jackasses had bothered to get up off of the floor, straighten a desk row, or stop braiding whomever's lice infected mop they happen to be working on.

She looked at me and blinked a few times. I told her that this was the way they were. This seemed to be the best that they could behave. I wanted smaller classes, or an assistant teacher to patrol the room while I was giving the lessons. Anything! Something had to be done. If the school wasn't going to allow us to punish or fail them, then they could figure out a way to fix this. The students know that there is no discipline at the school, so they have no fear. I also reminded her that it is very easy for a native English speaker to get a job in Thailand, and that any school in the country would pay me considerably more than their little slice of Hooterville hell does. She just nodded and walked out.

The next day, Aww appeared in my first period class and told me that she needed to talk to me about a schedule change. This sounded better than nothing, because teaching more than 1 grade level really sucks. The skill level in any one grade is diverse enough as it is. Anyway, a few hours later, she came to my office and informed me that I would no longer have to teach the low skilled classes in 7th and 8th grade. But, I would be picking up the 4th, 5th, and 6th grade. WTF!!

I started to go ballistic, but after a quick moment of thought, didn't. The things that I was having to teach the 7th and 8th graders are things that they should have learned in the 4th - 6th grade anyway. Maybe I could get them back on track, at least a little bit anyway. She also said that they would split each class into 2 thirty minute groups. Given their attention span, that sounded pretty good. Plus, I still got to keep my higher skilled 7th and 8th grade classes. The only downside is that I now have to teach 5 grade levels, 2 more hours per week, for the same crappy pay.

The first week went pretty well. Thirty minutes is about all that the youngins can take, and still remember at least some of it for their next class with me. The smaller classes make them much easier to manage too. I keep the lesson very simple, and just focus on understanding and lots of repetition. This usually results in a shouting match between the girls and the boys, but who cares if it works, and they can remember what to say and when to say it.

They also let me teach them in the theater room next to the computer room. AIR CONDITIONING!!!!! It takes a lot more energy to keep them motivated during a class, so I am pretty exhausted afterwards, but they seem to enjoy it. A bunch of them actually show up early. I even get hugs from some of the bolder ones after class sometimes. I think that's a good sign.

Nazi Visa Bee-yatch + Fajitas = T.I.T.

T.I.T. = This is Thailand. It was visa time again here in la la land. The thing about this is, that with the right paperwork, getting you work permit and visa should only take about 5 minutes. But guess what!? It doesn't! It never does! Either they have changed the rules and not bothered to tell anyone, or someone has screwed up the paperwork because they can't do their f'ing job. I miss the days when Roong did the paperwork. If there was a problem, she could fix it on the spot. But now, since I had to switch back to a Non-B visa, it's a damn merry-go-round to get anything done.

They opened an immigration office in Lopburi now. I don't have to drive all the way to Bangkok to get all this stuff done. That's a good thing. Getting my 90 day stamp is easy. I am in and out in 3 minutes. But, the nasty bitch that takes care of yearly visas is a pain in the ass. I assume that this is the first time in her life that she has had any amount of power. The 10 minute bullshit lectures on absolutely nothing, and the endless studying of the same papers over and over again gets old real quick. Since I wasn't teaching that day, I was dressed pretty casual. She said that I didn't look like a teacher, and that she thought that the contract from my school was fake, and that my wife had made it up. She also said that because I was going to have to make 2 trips to her office to finish everything, that I would have to pay the 1900 baht fee 2 times. Plus, she never gave me back the 100 baht change from when I paid for it the first time. WTF!!!

Roong spends most of her time trying to keep me from loosing my temper and getting in to trouble. But this, this was too much even for her. She pulled some serious rank. She stormed over to Sgt. Bitchy's supervisor and ripped the little Captain a new one. After she settled down, the little Captain pulled Sgt. Bitchy aside and had a few quick but very intense words. We were out of there about 2 minutes later.

I had to go back there today to give them a new copy of my work permit. I was so ready for a scrap. Roong wasn't there to shut me up, so it was looking like trouble. Once I got there, she didn't say anything to me, she just motioned for me to sit down, and stamped the new paperwork. I should have just left, but having worn my school uniform there, I couldn't resist asking her "Do I look like a god damn teacher now?". She just glared at me. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I will save the story of the nob newbie at the work permit office for another time. XD


I had real food for dinner!!!!!! After the victory at the Immigration office, I went and had lunch, and then wondered around Big-C for a while. Buried in the imported food section, I found a package of tortillas. Cool! All I needed was some salsa and sour cream, and I was in business.

Fajita madness!

Today was a very lucky day, because I did find 2 little containers of sour cream at Big-C, and some no name salsa that didn't look to bad. Once I picked Roong up from work we raided the market and got Chicken, peppers, chilies, mushrooms, and anything else I could think of to put in them. We went with chicken, because Thais aren't big beef eaters. I suppose that I should have looked at a recipe at some point for this, but having spent a fortune at Taco Ball, I was feeling confident.

Roong cooked the chicky in the oven, and I stir fried up the peppers, onions, etc. They turned out great. Probably just dumb luck, but they were awesome. I guess I would really have to attribute this success to the fact that if you dump enough sour cream on anything, eventually it will taste good. The only bad thing about it was the fact that I made enough to feed an army. Roong ate one, and I could only eat two. Hmmm...I wonder what I will have for lunch tomorrow?

Student Day 2012

Another Student Day has come and gone. They really went all out this year too. There must have been two dozen dancing and singing performances by all the classes combined.We had a good turn out of parents this time also. Here are a few shots from the action. It was very overcast today, so most of my long distance group shots were kind of fussy....

This is Fet and Taptim (Timmy). Great kids, and two of the sharpest students in their classes.

A few more of my youngins at Student Day. I believe that's Pop in the center. The little boy on the end (Yes, that's a boy) is Dommy. I have 2 or 3 "ladyboys in training" in every class, but this little fruit loop takes flaming to a whole new level. He's a good kid, but he has a different drama tragedy going on every day, and at least once a week I have to tell him to stop sticking things down his shirt to make fake boobs.

This is Took ta and Ae. Two of the so few good students in my M-2/3 class. These are the kind that meet you at your office to carry your books to class. Can't imagine life there without them.

This is the festival queen and her handmaidens.

Well well well, speaking of queens... That is miss Tuktan in the brown shirt, and her pack of ladyboys, that volunteered to do all the make-up for the performers. Imagine that! Of all the 100 girls that teach at Penpattana, Tuktan has got to be the most fun. She is one of the few that regularly likes to go out and party, and is always juggling at least 3 boyfriends.

I'm not sure who these 3 little girls are. I know that I know them, but it's hard to tell who they are under all that make-up. They look like they have been severely beaten with a box of crayons.

The girl with her chin on her hands is Miew. I have had her in all my classes since I started teaching at Penpattana. Wonderful student and full time "go to" girl.

I wish I had gotten better shots of this dance. It was a calypso type of number, and there were dozens of these little island girls running all over the place. It was like a Lilo and Stitch invasion!

This is just one small group of the Lilo and Stitch crowd.

The one on your right is Fern. I've known Fern for several years too. She does fairly well in class, but was most definitely born to be trouble! She has a mischievous streak a mile wide.

The boys. Mahn Mah, Rut, Tik, and Ball. All great students, and cool little dudes. Ball is one of the super jocks of M-2.

Two of my all time numero uno favorites, Beggy and Nuna. Both are little angels in my M-2/4 class. They have helped me a lot over the years. I don't know what I would have done without them.

The little bit of a girl in the center is Yo. Yo is another of the kids that I have known for all 5 years at school. She is possibly the most intelligent child I have ever had the privilege to teach.

It's Beam time! Beam (on the right) is more fun, and more trouble, than any teacher should ever have to deal with. That girl is always getting up to something. I also have her little sister Biw in one of my other classes. Exactly the same! Next year is going to be a hoot.

On the River

As you know, last weekend was our Bangkok adventure. Friday night, it was every man, woman, or child for themselves. The girls went out and did whatever it is that they do, and I hit my favorite watering hole. Saturday was Palmiez' graduation ceremony day, and that night we wanted to take her somewhere special for dinner. There's a lot to do in BKK, but we weren't sure what would be just right for this special day. I think it was Roong who suggested the dinner cruise. It sounded like a great idea, because none of us had ever been on one here before. So, off we went.....

First, there was a lot of this. Bangkok is the only place I know that can actually have a full scale traffic jam working at 9pm on a Sunday night. It's amazing.

Once we finally got there, we waited for about 45 mins until our boat docked and we could board. We ended up sitting out on deck in the bow. That was fine for me. There was a nice cool breeze, and Roong had lots of things to try and take pictures of. (key word = try) The food and bev selection was very nice and our waiter was great. My only complaint would be that as usual, the food was served cold. It was a buffet style dinner, and the food was in warmer trays, but for some reason they never seem to remember to put the candles under them to keep the food hot. I mean anywhere.

This is a really cool suspension bridge that was about half way down the length of our 2 hour cruise. Roong tried to get several shots of it, but this is the only one that turned out fairly well.

There were dozens of these little turtle boats running back and forth across the river. All they do all day and night is ferry people back and forth across the river. They also seem to try and cut as close in front of the bigger boats as they can, much to the delight of the passengers.

Here's another shot of that bridge from a little farther out. It looks like a giant candle from one side, and a flying V guitar from the other.

Here are Puk and her boyfriend Mack. This was the first time he and the rest of us had actually spent any time together. Partly because he lives in Bangkok, and partly because his mom is a kook.

More Mack and Pukkiness.

These 2 shots are of the King's Wat (temple). We have visited it before, but I didn't realize how close it was to the river.

Mack, Puk, and Palmiez

A few shots of Roong and I. Roong seemed to have a great time. At least that is what I gathered from all the camera snapping that was going on.

One last shot of the King's Wat as we were headed back to the dock. All in all, it was a very nice time, and I think we might do it again for some other special occasion.

A Great Escape and A 1000 baht Burrito

Haaaa! I got away from zombieland.....err..... Pattananikom for 3 whole f#$@ing days! Roong and I went to Bangkok for Palmiez' graduation last weekend. The ceremony was on Saturday, so we had Friday night and all of Sunday to wander about. Friday night the girls went out for dinner, and a little shopping. I on the other hand made a beeline to the Dubliner, of course.


The last 2 times I have gotten to go there, they weren't serving beer, because it was some Buddhist holiday or something. As I only get to go there once or twice a year, I was pretty pissed about the whole thing. No such troubles this time though.

The music was good, the beer was cold, and the waitresses were as pretty as ever. I don't remember the name of the band, but the singer's name was Mia. I talked to a friend of hers named Fred for most of the night. I also ran into Steve there. He was apparently heading off to meet friends at the Q-bar, but stopped at the Dubliner for a few first. I haven't seen him in months, so it was great to catch up.

Just before I left, I tried to order some food, but the kitchen had already closed. Luckily, there is a killer Mexican food place just a few blocks away that is open 24-7. I went in, and ordered a monster beef burrito with a side bucket of sour cream to go. When it was ready, they brought me the check and I tossed him a 1000 baht note, got the change, tipped him 100, and took off.

(judging by the photo, I think I had a few there too while waiting)

It wasn't until I was in the cab headed back to the hotel that I noticed that I only had about 40 baht in my hand. WTF?! I figured I must have given him 500 by mistake. As I was still pretty buzzed, it didn't bother me too bad though.

By the time I got back to the room, I was sobering up, and getting a bit irritated. I then looked in the bag, only to find not 1, but 2 monster beefy burritos, and more sour cream than anyone would want to deal with. No wonder it was so expensive, they're like 300 baht a piece. Anyway, I was in heaven. I think I ate about1/2 of one, and then was out like a light. I know I woke up at least 3 times during the night, and scarfed down another 1/2 of one of those bad boys each time.

I have to go to the doctor next week for my annual check-up. She's gonna be pissed!

Palmiez' Graduation Day

Roong, Palmiez, and Pukky

Palmiez - Serious

Palmiez - Not Serious

Me, Palmiez, and Puk

A graduated Palmiez

This past weekend, Roong and I went to Bangkok for 3 days for our oldest daughter Palmiez' graduation day. Pom Pom actually finished university about a year ago, but since they usually have a member of the royal family handing out the diplomas, it can take a while to get done.

The ceremony was held at a convention center on the west side of Bangkok. The place was pretty nice, and we had no trouble getting a taxi to go there, or come back. It was only about 20 minutes from our favorite hotel.

The thing that struck me about all this was that while there were some 3000 students there, there were also more than 2000 photographers. Each student hires their own personal photographer to follow them around for 4 hours or so taking photos. Some had 2. They had the kids posing all over the place. It got to be kind of funny, because it's not like they were on a set, or somewhere that actually had any scenery. Just a lot of concrete.

Anyway, our baby girl looked absolutely fabulous, and was having a blast posing for the cameras. We are so very very proud of her! Only 3 more years, and it will be Puk's turn.

Big Daddy and Little Pig vs The Croc

Oh yeah, we won! The girls are home for a 4 day New Year holiday this week. We didn't go out on New Years itself, because it is amateur hour around here that night. We did, however, go out last night for a bit of fun. Out of the blue, Roong said that she wanted to go to "Good View" in Lopburi. That in itself was a reason to celebrate. I like going there a hell of a lot more than going to Bannok all the time. "Good View" has real musicians that play relaxed folk music for a few hours, and then they change bands for a little more upbeat music. Anything is better than that awful karaoke at "Bannok". Besides, the food, and the atmosphere, are better, and the waitresses are soooooooo much prettier. The staff has changed since the last time I was there, but the lovely Miss Sai was still standing by the entrance waiting to greet the customers. It was great to see her again, and it was big hugs all around as usual.

The girls ordered pretty normal fare to eat at first. Som tom and big fish I think it was. After that, Pukky was still hungry so she took a more serious look at their new menu. They have always had a really nice seafood selection, but they have since added a few new things. The new ones that jumped out at her were the jellyfish and the crocodile dishes. Ok, the jellyfish didn't really sound to appealing to anyone, but Puk and I were determined to try the crocodile. I think it was a revenge thing, because ever since the floods came there have been a lot of crocs on the loose and making mischief in Bangkok. Though secretly, I had hoped that they might put a dent in the stray dog problem here.

Palmiez asked the waiter what crocodile tasted like, and he told her that it tastes like chicken. Umm...dude, chicken tastes like chicken pork tastes like pork, beef tastes like beef, and god only knows what jellyfish tastes like. Pukapow and I severely doubted that big lizard was going to taste like chicken.

When it finally arrived, the first thing the guy did was to set an empty red hot cast iron plate on the table. The serving portion seemed a bit small to me, but I didn't say anything. Then, one of the girls (whose name I can't remember, but whose ass will live forever in my dreams) dumped the dish itself on to the plate. It literally exploded in a frenzy of oil popping madness. We had to sit back for a few moments until it had settled down a bit.

Pukky was the first to attack it. Like she usually does with something new, she stabbed a piece and gave it a serious sniff. She made her "I'm not sure yet, so I better eat it" face, and then had at it. She liked it! That was good enough for me, so I dug in too.

Guess what!? It tastes like f*cking chicken! It reminds me of shark, because it has a very heavy, rich texture to it, but it really did taste like chicken. I was relieved, but also a bit disappointed, because I was expecting something at least a little more exotic for 200 baht a plate. After 10 minutes of coaxing, we finally got Palmiez and Roong to give it a try. Neither seemed very impressed, but they both said it wasn't bad. Whatever, Pukky and I had fun with it.

All in all, it was a very enjoyable evening, and a nice way to ring in the New Year. Palmiez will finally have her graduation ceremony on Jan. 7, so I am looking forward to trip to Bangkok next weekend. I haven't had a cheeseburger in 6 months. I hope to hell they don't taste like chicken!

Micro Wars

This thing actually works! Microwave ovens have been around for quite a while now. Even so, I will be the first to admit that cooking with one is still a bit of a mystery to me. I can reheat leftovers with the best of them, but that's about it. This can be a bummer, especially in the morning. It's usually just toast, juice, and coffee. I don't really even like coffee, but it's quick and easy to make. I long for the days when I was truck driving, and could just swing into a Flying-J truck stop, and scarf down a massive plate of hash browns, sausage, and biscuits and gravy at the $6.99 buffet. My cholesterol was hovering in the mid 300's then I believe. Anyway...

Yesterday, Roong an I had to go to the doctor, get my 90 day visa stamp, and run a few other errands. While we were at Big-C (Wal-Mart's retarded Asian cousin), we stumbled across this little doodad. I like having an egg sandwich for breakfast, but it takes more time to cook it than it does to eat it. As Roong is definitely NOT a morning person, time is a major factor. So, we gave it a shot. It works great. It makes a perfect poached or hard yolked egg in 1 min and 30 sec. That's almost the exact same amount of time that it takes to make the toast for it. Now I can have a little variety in the morning. And, as Martha would say, "That's a good thing!"