Wooohooo! My favorite holiday is drawing near. There are actually enough foreigners in Bangkok to have a pretty kick ass St.Pat's Day celebration. Last year, Steve and I went to a bar called "The Dubliner". We were not disappointed, because the place was packed. Live music, and all kinds of other good stuff. The only drawback to partying in Bangkok, is the price of beer. A quart of Bud costs like 200 baht, and Guiness and the others are just as expensive. A quart of "Ahchaa" (horse beer) costs like 30 baht here in the sticks. Yeesh!
Anyway, I thought you could use a few Irish jokes to get you in the mood. I got these from Vincent, a friend in our marketing group. Here goes....
"Mary Clancy ges up to Fater O'Grady after his Sunday morning service,
and she's in tears. He says, 'So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?'
She says, 'Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.'
The priest says, 'Oh, Mary, that's terrible.
Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?' She says, 'That he did, Father.'
The priest says, 'What did he ask, Mary? 'She says, He said,
'Please Mary, put down that damn gun..."
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"A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church,
enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his
attention but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, 'ain't no use knockin,
there's no paper on this side either!"
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"Into a
looking like he'd just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken,
his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
' What happened to you?' asks Sean, the bartender.
' Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight,' says Paddy.
' That little shit, O'Conner,' says Sean,
'He couldn't do that to you,
he must have had something in his hand.'
' That he did,' says Paddy, 'a shovel is what he had,
and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it.'
' Well,' says Sean, 'you should have defended yourself,
didn't you have something in your hand?'
That I did,' said Paddy.
'Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of
beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
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"A cop pulls over a weaving car on the highway...
' So,' says the cop to the driver,
where have ya been?'
' Why, I've been to the pub of course, slurs the drunk.
' Well,' says the cop, 'it looks like you've had quite
a few to drink this evening.'
'I did all right,' the drunk says with a smile.
' Did you know,' says the cop, standing straight and
folding his arms across his chest,
'that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?'
'Oh, thank heavens,' sighs the drunk.
'For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
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There now, don't you feel better?
