Way Home

Ahh, the joys of driving in Bangkok. This is the only place on earth that can have a total gridlock traffic jam at 11pm on a Sunday night. It can be anything, police checkpoints, accidents, or construction. But usually, it's just due to stupid people. Between psycho scooter motards and the fact that most people are oblivious as to where they are, or what is going on around them, it can get pretty bizarre out there.

My friend Vitaly has one of those Go-Pro type cameras and filmed a video of his trip home from work, and then one of what it looks like at night. Surprisingly enough, nothing too weird happens. But, it gives you an idea of how the streets look on a normal day.

My Medical Incarceration

Geebus Crust, I hate going to the hospital! It's never good news. I seem to wait too long too. A few years ago, I got a small cut on the bottom of my foot. It was under my little toe, so I didn't even notice it until I started getting bad cramps in my calf. Turns out that it had gotten infected in the bone.

To make a long story short, after 2 years of having to put a bag on my foot to take a shower, they amputated my little toe. That was all well and good, but just a few months after that, I broke my right foot. The weird thing is, that I don't know how I did it. I woke up one morning and my foot looked like a football (American, not European).

I waited a few days to see if the swelling would go down, but it didn't. Roong took me to the hospital for a scheduled appointment, and they decided that this obviously called for more slicing and dicing. That was 6 months ago. They have been waiting for the swelling to go down, so they can fuse the bones in my foot, and suture it shut.

Pretty gross, right? All of that red isn't blood, it's betadine. But guess what! All that waiting was a wonderful opportunity to get yet another infection. Ain't that a daisy? So now, I am scheduled for surgery on Dec. 8. If everything goes right, it means another week in the hospital, and then 2 months of recovery with an erector set box frame screwed into my leg and foot at home. I am guessing that I have logged about 3 months of sitting in a hospital bed due to all of this, so far. Hopefully, there will only be about 1 more week of that. I am also hoping that I can get back to work some time in March.

Oh, I must give a shout out to the nurses in the trauma ward at Thamassat hospital. My adorable little doodlebugs. Not only did they put up with all of my bullshit, a few of them helped me cause it. Haa! Bpoop Pae, Tee Taa, Nanny, Teh, Mai, Spy, and all the rest, thanks for everything. Love you, miss you! And a special huge thank you to Vit and Sveta for "big oranges", trips to 7-11, hair cuts, and for smuggling above and beyond the call of duty. I don't know what I would have done without you.

Flip Flop Nightmare

I have often been asked what the most difficult thing to deal with in living here is. Several things come to mind, but the one thing that I can't seem to even come close to achieving any sort of competency at is..... ....walking in those god damn flip-flops!

Not the thong kind, that you can scrunch your toes around to hold on to, the other shower shoe looking things. Actually, the thong kind give me trouble too. No matter how hard I concentrate, I still seem to just walk right out of them in a matter of a few steps.

Both the kids and adults here run, work, play, ride their scooters, and do just about anything while wearing them. I watched construction workers add concrete walls 4 stories up, wearing nothing but shorts, and those flip-flops.

My little Bata slip on shoes are about as close as I can come to them. Luckily, they are extremely comfortable. I can't figure out how they do it.

Off to laos

It was Visa time again last month. Since my former company didn't bother to get our work permits when they should have, I needed to make a border run to start over again. I flew to Vientiane in Laos. It's only a 1 hour flight, and everything went very smoothly.

The people were extremely nice, and nobody tried to scam me, or raise the prices of things when they saw me coming. That was a very nice change indeed. The taxi driver I found at the airport suggested a nice hotel, and told me where to go in the evening to have a beer, and hang out. All in all, it was a very nice trip, considering it was just an overnighter. I will definitely go back there again.

Changes

Lots of changes here lately. First, I changed jobs. The contract I had with my former company was definitely not a win win situation. I'll just leave it at that. So, I went full time with ECC. I had been working with them part-time on the weekends anyway, and since that was going well, I figured I'd give them a shot.

I was working exclusively out of their office in the Future park Mall, but now I also teach at the Udom Wittaya school. I will be teaching 10th - 12th grade. I won't be teaching conversation this time. I was told that they just want to practice reading and comprehension. The last thing that they need more of. Whatever! I don't feel like fighting with the stupid fuckers any more. My boss, Taa, warned me that the students are lazy and I am just supposed to make sure that the little idiots pass the course. I got a 5000 baht per month raise, so once again, whatever.

Roong and I found an apartment that is literally right next to the mall, and only 15 minutes away from the school. The girls are quite happy about being right next door to a major shopping mall. At least I think they are, because they sure do visit a lot more often now. I also ended up with a larger apartment. This one has 2 rooms, and Roong is much more comfortable when she is here. Here are a few shots of it.

The Rabbit Goes to Hollywood

Move over Frankie, there's a new sheriff in town! That's right, apparently the wascally wabbit has made his way to Tinsel Town. Supposedly, this is a photo of TV show "Glee" star Chris Colfer hanging around the set wearing one of my Rabbit Hand Shadow tee designs. We can't prove it, but it looks legit enough to me to brag about it! 

New Places, New Faces

What a week! I changed schools, and moved in the space of about 3 days. Thank god for friends and family. I feel bad because I probably did the least amount of work during it. I pretty much just went on an interview, and then did my last 2 days at Assumption. My girls had already all taken their final exam for summer school, so we didn’t actually do a damn thing.

During that time, Roong, Palmiez, and Puk were making runs in their cars to get me moved. I think the whole thing only took 3 trips. My new apartment is on the 4^th floor, with no elevator. Roong hired some of the locals to get the stuff up there, so that part wasn’t too bad, and Puk got to skip a day of school, so I think she will survive.

My X landlord was being her normal bitchy self, and made us pay a full months rent because we didn’t give her a full months notice. Please remember that she already has 2 months deposit that we were never going to see again anyway, so don’t feel bad for her. We put one of those outer door knob locks on the apartment door, so she can’t rent the room out from under us. Oh yeah, she’d do it. I’m sure she was already counting the money. We gave the key to a friend so that he can go take a look every once in a while to see if she cut the lock or anything. God, I hope she does. Haaaa!

Anyway, the new job is at a school about 30 minutes north of BKK, just south of Ayuthaya. That's a shot of the old palace above this. It’s kind of a rural area, but kind of not. There is actually a lot here, it’s just not name brand. The school looks nice, and we noticed that a few of the rooms in the English language section had air conditioning. I hope I can teach in one of them (please please please!).

My new man cave is about the same size as my old one. A bit dingy, but OK. The building is smack dab in the middle of the local market, so anything you need is right outside the front door. That is, after you go down 4 flights of stairs, of course. I am sure that is going to improve my memory dramatically. We were missing a few things here because the apartment is only partially furnished, so now I have a new refer, TV, and even a washing machine. All are tiny, but efficient. The landlord’s name is Yu, and she and Roong seem to get along quite well.

The most excitement I had during all of this was riding my motorcycle here from the old place. It took about 5 hours. The girls can take the tollway, so they can do it in under an hour in their cars. About 45 minutes of that was me getting lost, but the rest was due to construction and holiday traffic. The old girl was a champ though, no problems what so ever. Well, other than a severe sun burning on both of my forearms. That’s OK though, because it’s probably the longest adventure I will ever get to take on the bike. My ass was killing me by the end of it. I guess it’s time for a car (sniff). I’ll probably give the motorcycle to Pukky, just to scare the shit out of her mother. :D

My new boss called today at about 3pm, and said..”Oh yeah, the school wants you to come and do a demo class for them tomorrow. Nothing fancy, just enough so that they know you can teach.”  WTF? I already fooled you, how many times do I need to do this? I will make sure he knows that I had to miss the premier of Iron Man III tonight because I have to get up early for this. (Sorry Palm, we will go see it soon, I promise!)

So that’s what’s been going on lately. More later, once I have had the time to look around this place a bit….

Amazing Animation and Sound

This is one of the most amazing things I have seen in a while. Thanks to my friend Warren Haney for turning us on to it. (click the X's on the ads to get rid of them, better view)

Kindergarten? ME??????

Summer camp has started. Not only does this suck because our boss took our summer vacation away from us, and not only because I have to spend 200 baht a day commuting to a different school to take part in something I don't want to do anyway, but it also sucks because I have to teach kindergarten! GRAWRWRARARARAR!!!

I teach "English conversation" class, not "run around like little maniacs and do what ever you want until you feel it's time to start crying because you're bored" class! OK, I'm done.

It really wasn't that bad. I was fortunate to have 4 Thai teachers to help with the class. These girls were on top of everything, and had a stare that could curdle milk if the kids got up to any mischief. They were a fantastic help in keeping the class running smoothly. Thanks ladies!

Here is a shot of the kids trying to get organized first thing in the morning. It had just started to rain unseasonably, which was not a good sign. Just trying to get them to line up in six rows was a chore for the girls.

This is the first group. They acted pretty much like I expected. About half of them got in to the activity, which was making those little rabbit ear head bands they are wearing. The other half, not so much. I have no idea why they were making the rabbit ears.

 

The second class was much more laid back. And much more comfortable around me. You can tell by how close they will get to you without getting that panicky rabbit look in their eyes. Most of them climbed all over me when the school photographers were taking pictures of us. I think part of that is due to the fact that I sit on the floor to work with them. That puts us at eye level, and I think I am less intimidating to them that way.

 

The last class was Ok at first, but by the end of it, they were just as ready to go home as we were. But, we all survived it. I am off tomorrow, because I have a doctor appointment, and need to get my 90 day Visa stamp. The company was supposed to do that for me, but gee whiz, I didn't see our fearless leader anywhere today. Imagine that! So, I will see the kids again on Wednesday, and then have the 1st - 6th graders on Thursday and Friday, or so they say. Who knows?

At least one of the guys won't be coming back next term, so I might think about asking to transfer there. We found a very nice apartment complex there through one of the teachers that I work with now, Marlene. She and her boyfriend live there now and are quite happy with it. Plus, the guys that teach at St.Peters are a pretty hard core bunch, and a lot of fun to be around. We'll see.

*Update: The last day of this was a field trip to a few different places. The first was a Swiss sheep farm. Three tired ponies, 10 bored goats, and a shit load of overpriced t-shirts for sale. Blah!

The second place was called "Santarini". It was half amusement park, and half designer outlet mall. Interesting, for about 15 minutes. The only noteworthy occurrence was the accident involving 3 of our buses and 4 cars. There were a few bloody noses, but nothing serious. One of the Thai teachers seemed to have some kind of nervous breakdown because of it though. Strange.

Us

Ahhh..mornings in our happy home are such a delight!

The Steak Place

There are lots of little restaurants around the school, but most of them are Thai, which means that they are outside, and you can pretty much only have rice, rice, or rice. But, there is the steak place. We call it that because we aren't sure what the name of the place actually is, and because you can get a fairy decent steak sandwich there for 89 baht. It's indoors, the food is OK, the staff is friendly and speak passable English, and the prices are very reasonable. Marlene, Chanelle, and I probably hit there 3 times a week. And probably 3 times a day during exam weeks, when we have absolutely nothing to do.

Bangkok am

Ahh, I love the smell of sum tom in the morning. Here are a few shots of Bangkok from my apartment. I'm up on the roof, so I get a pretty good view of the west side of Bangkok. It was unusually nice this morning, I mean like 65 degrees nice. Wish it was like this every morning.

My Girls

No, not No.1 and No. 2 daughters, I mean my other 500 babies. It's final exam week here in la la land. It's funny, because if you ask a teacher if they are ready for finals, they always say "yep, I'm ready to go!", but if you ask a student, they go in to 3 kinds of shock and run off screaming " NO NO NO!" Yeesh, they'll live through it, they always do.

Here's three of my best. It's these few that you just know are going to do something great some day, that makes it all worth while. Now, if only I could remember their names.

Here's the rest of the herd. They do get a bit noisy once in a while, but when it's time to work, all my M-2/1 girls jump to it. You might be wondering why they are all congregated around my laptop, and why there's a broom there.

Well, once they are finished with their classwork, I ask them to give the room a quick cleaning, to keep it nice so Sister Mary Iron Pants doesn't jump my ass about it every Friday. That's when she makes her rounds.

Once the girls have tidied up the place, I let them hit Youtube, and turn the volume up. A few of them act as DJ, while the rest of them just dance around lip syncing the song.

And, this is what they get up to if you leave them alone for more than 5 minutes, shadow snogging! They're all lesbians for a little while anyway, it's like a phase they go through I guess.

Free vs My Time

Hmm..."Free" can have many different meanings on the web. Now that I have a few websites, I need to do some offsite seo, so people know they are there. OK, I have the basic idea of what I need to do, like submitting them to search engines, articles, backlinks, etc. I am still no pro, but I have the general idea.

Because of that, I still look for lists of what experts think you should do once you have your site built. Check lists. Everyone seems to have a bit different way of doing this, so I like to see what's out there. I came across a few, that all suggested using a certain free submission site to get listed on like 200 different search engines. Ok, free is good, I will give it a go. I used one of my old sites, just in case. It only took a few minutes to give all the info it needed, and then click "submit". It said "thanks" and asked me if I wanted to add any others. That was easy. I noticed that some of the results were pending an email verification, so I went to the email to do that.

WOAH!!! There were like 153 verification emails there waiting for me! Well, a mobii's gotta do what a mobii's gotta do. I started this, so I had to finish it. What got me, is that every single one of these little SOB's asked me for the same exact info that the original submitter had asked for. Umm...weren't they supposed to pass on this stuff when they submitted my site? Wasn't that the whole point of this "we make it easy for you" operation?

I spent about 2 hours with this mess. I am the first to admit that my time isn't exactly worth gold at this point yet, but it damn sure isn't "FREE"!

The Bangkok Invasion

Much to my dismay, last weekend has come and gone. Last Friday, I had to go take that stupid teacher License test again. I am so glad that that could possibly be the last time I have to do it. But, apart from that hour of my life that I will never get back, the weekend kicked ass!

The only problem I had was when I first got there. I usually time my arrival so that I can stop at the Zeer shopping mall and have lunch at Mickey D's. But, after I had ordered, I reached for my wallet, only to find that it wasn't there. I am now at the point in my life where I don't freak out over such things anymore, I go straight to rage. I feel bad, because I scared the hell out of the poor little girl behind the counter. I spent about 15 minutes searching the car to no avail, and then called Palmiez for help. Sweet as only she can be, she left work and met me at the hotel. She took me to the bank so I could get some money, which turned out to be just about 1 km from the hotel. During which time, Roong called to tell me that I had left my wallet on the bed, so all was OK. (except that now my wife knew exactly how much money I had for this little adventure, never a good thing)

I went to take the test, and was going to stop and apply for a job at the Sarawittiya school that is right across the street from the apartments. But, the test site was like an hour taxi ride from the hotel, and it had started to rain pretty hard, so I couldn't. I will do that next time. So, I took a nap to rest up for the night's festivities.

Good thing I did too, because it was a busy night at The Dubliner. The pub is moving a few km's down the road, and Saturday night was their going away party. I think that everyone that wasn't sure that they could make it on Saturday made damn sure they were there on Friday. Irish guys can drink. I mean to the point that it should be considered a super power or something. Every 5 minutes, one of them would walk up, slap me on the back, buy me a beer, and tell me the most insane stories that I have ever heard. I laughed so hard that it hurt. A free beer just for listening to a story is a pretty good deal, if you ask me. You will occasionally  have to hear one a few times, but that's OK. I met lots of great folks, and had a killer time. After I had hit my limit (and a few more) I strolled down to Subway, got a foot long double everything, and headed back to the hotel for some much needed sleep.

The next day, I met No.1 daughter in the lobby, and we went shopping. Pukky couldn't go because she had a make-up class. First, we stopped at the Bangkok Bank, to see about getting me a credit card. The bank I am with now can't give me a card, and can't explain why not either. I can't even use their ATM card online. With Bangkok Bank, you can. The lady at the bank said I could only get a Mastercard if I deposited 100,000 baht in an account, like a secured card. That sucks, but at least I know what I have to do now. It only took 6 years to get a straight fucking answer out of these dipshits. But, at least I know now.

Since the serious stuff was finally finished, Palmiez and I hit the mall. I found all kinds of things that I wanted, even a very affordable little drawing table. I will try and get that next trip. The highlight for me was when Palmiez told me that she had a surprise for me, and told the taxi driver where to take us, without giving me a clue. What she had found was Villa Supermarket. They specialize in foreign foods. I was in heaven!!!

Man, I spent a weeks pay on stuff I haven't seen in years. They had everything from my fav Kraft Mac and Cheese, to Trisquits, A-1 sauce, and Clausen pickles. They even had Cheese-Whiz! Haaaaaaa! I tried to show some self control, but met with only minimal success. The other thing we got was one of those little internet card thingies for my laptop, so I can get to the internet anywhere I am. This will be fine, because I can use it on any computer, so Roong can use it on her laptop too.

Chew Chew and I wore the day out at about 3pm, so we stopped at Starbucks to recharge and then headed home. Those cappuccino drinks will fire you right up, but it doesn't last long. By the time I got back to my room, it was nap time.

That evening, I headed back to the Dubliner for their closing party. I have to walk over a crossing overpass to get across the street to catch a taxi. This puts me right in front of the large gates of the school that sits there. As I was walking by I heard in a strong, but rather high and nasally voice, "Hey, where you now going?" I turned around and saw that it was this little skinny gate guard with a very serious look on his face. Irritated by his arrogance, I stormed over and was ready to nastily ask him why it was any of his damn business, when he pulled a Jedi mind trick on me, he smiled. Not a "nice to meet you", or "hey, what's up?" smile though. His little face contorted into this huge tight-lipped smile, and he gave me this odd Puss-in-boots "sad kitty eyes" from the Shrek movie kind of look. I can handle either one, but both of them together from this little guy was a 10 on my creepy meter. Then it hit me, I was under a GAY GAURD ATTACK! Ack!!! Run away, run away!

I caught myself though, and knew just what to do. I slowly looked around, and walked up to the gate bars. I then gave him my best impression of the smiling big eyed kitty look that I could, and quietly said "I'm going THAT way. Have you ever been THAT way?" If it was possible for his grin to get bigger, and his eyes to get wider, they did. He took off like a shot towards the other end of the big gate, because it was the only way to get out of there. I could see what he was up too, so I immediately turned and gave a two fingered whistle that could have shattered glass. A taxi that was just going by slammed on his brakes, and I practically dove in. I may have to rethink applying for a job at that school.

As we were pulling off, the little gate guard was just rounding the corner and realizing that I was out of there. I felt sorry for him, so I rolled down the window and gave him a shrug, and a wave. He just gave a small sad smile and waved back. I don't think that this was the first time that such a thing had happened to him. I will spare you the details from Saturday night's debauchery at the Dubliner. Needless to say, it was even worse than Friday's. God, I do love that place.

Sunday, Palmiez and I went and strolled around a different mall, and had lunch. Before I knew it, it was time to go. The Dubliner won't open up at it's new location for almost 2 months, so it will be a while before I go back to Bangkok again. It's going to be a long 2 months. *sigh*

Holiday in Rayong

We had a three day weekend, so Roong decided that she would like to go to the beach. That sounded good to me and the girls, so off we went. We went to Rayong because it's only about a 4.5 hour drive, it's never crowded, and has just about every thing you need. Pukky and I even found a restaurant that serves German food. Not much of it is actually German, they just write the name of the dish in German, with a translation, which is OK by me. A good steak is a good steak in any language. Anyway, here are a few shots of the girls and I on the beach in Rayong, and on the Island of Samet....

  Us hiding from the sun under the umbrellas on one of the Samet beaches.

  The girls and I on the beach at Rayong.

Palmiez and Puk and I at one of the bazillion restaurants that line the beach on Samet Island.

The only sounds I heard for 3 days were the waves breaking on the beach, and some little cutie in a bikini occasionally asking me if I wanted another beer. I do not remember the last time I was that relaxed. 

My wife said that because this was a holiday, she thought that I could use a little spirituality. OK, fair enough. I kept looking until I finally found a church that made sense to me. Hey, my religion comes with extra cheese and a free toy, does yours?

 

Who could ever get enough of these cuties?

Pom Pom!

Someone talked the girls into getting henna tattoos while we were there. I have no idea who did that.  :)

Pukky and her Yoko shades.

Roong and the girls at the entrance to the Samet Island park, or whatever they call it.

Help! Help! Bigfoot Ate My Chihuahua!

"Looking for Bigfoot". Yep, that's a real show. I have been watching these things since I can remember. Every Sunday, they go out and are sure that they will find proof that Bigfoot, or Nessie, or some other local legendary monster exists. Guess what...they never do. In 50 years of watching these things, not once have any of them ever found anything. Personally, I think these douche bags have a better chance of finding "Nemo", than of chasing up a Sasquatch.

The scientific community has gotten more reliable confirmation information from the "Star Trek" TV show, than from these bozo's. OK, so why do I keep watching them? I guess it's that deep down somewhere maybe I hope that there is a little more to all of this than just what I can see. I don't know why I would need there to be more, but I think that's part of it. The other reason I watch this stuff is that there isn't a baseball game on.

Oh, there was one show that apparently found something. These guys were looking for the "Chupacabra" down in the Southern border states. They actually did find this really bizarre species of long fanged wild dog that may be the explanation behind the Chupacabra myth.

Well, vampire pooches today, Yeti's tomorrow. We will just have to wait and see, won't we?

Clean Dirty Car Graffiti

You have to admit, it would be a total hoot to come out to the car that you have been avoiding washing for the past 6 months and find that some talented young artist had done this. It's so much more interesting than just seeing "WASH ME!" or "HONK IF YOU'RE HORNY!"

Dam Funny

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania.
The guy's response is hilarious, but make sure you read the State's letter, here, first before you get to the response letter. The Dam...

"SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.! The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2006.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on! the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions. Sincerely, David L. Price District Representative and Water Management Division."

Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:

"Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County Dear Mr. Price, Your certified letter dated 12/17/05 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout Run, Pennsylvania. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity. My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers. (2) Or do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated. I have several concerns.

My first concern is; aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.

If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English. In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2006? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then. In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not careful where they dump!

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office. THANK YOU. RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS"