Roong vs Big Princess

The big day has come and gone. Last Friday, we all went to Roong's university so she could get her Masters diploma from big princess. The girls took a few hundred photos, most of which had absolutely nothing to do with the day's festivities, and had at least one head cut off in each of them. This is a shot of us in front of the small lake in the center of the campus (lots of very large tutrtles in there). From left to right, Palmiez (AKA Ms. Chewiize Shinoda and No. 2 Boo Boo), Puk (AKA Moo noi and No. 3 Boo Boo), Roong (AKA Big Mama and No.1 Boo Boo), and me (AKA Big Daddy and Papa moo).

We went down there Thursday after work. That evening, Roong and Puk wandered around and did what ever it is that they do. I went to The Dubliner for some cold American beer, a good cigar, food that I recognized, and people that speak the same language that I do. I got all that and a handful of cute waitresses, I was content. The next morning, it was off to the ceremony.

The day was fairly busy for all of us, except Roong. They locked all of the graduates in a big room and wouldn't even let them out to pee until after the princess had came and left. I feel sorry for the princess because during that week she had to hand out about 40,000 diplomas. Each student had about 3 seconds to step up, do their little royal hand gesture to receive their diploma, and then take a few steps back and bow.

The princess pulled up in her dijon mustard colored Rolls Royce at about 9 am. She was followed by a small fleet of red Mercedes Benz'. I'm not sure who all of those people were. Anyway, since we couldn't go into the building, I took the girls shopping.

First we headed for Siam Paragon. It's a huge department store about an hour by taxi across Bangkok. The bookstore was amazing, but very expensive, so I didn't get anything. I will go back and raid it some day though. There was a Lamborghini dealer on the 3rd floor. The girls were baffled as to how they might have gotten the cars up there to the showroom. There were two beautiful salesgirls in there, but they were both fast asleep in their chairs. I wonder how many people actually buy luxury sports cars at the mall?

After that we had lunch at Burger King. Yeah, I know, but when you only get to eat that garbage once a year or so, you miss it. Then we jumped on the subway and went to a different mall to get Puk's uniforms, but I don't remember the name of it. We found a place to get Puk's uniforms easy enough, but waiting for her to pick out a pair of shoes took a while. She seemed happy enough with everything.

Then, we headed back to the campus. 3 hours of 90 degrees and 99% humidity. Since no one was allowed in the room with the princess, they televised the ceremony on TV in many of the other buildings. We found one with air conditioning and watched a bit of it. After it was all over, and the princess had gone, we found Roong in the crowd and tried to head for the exit. It was about then that her sister Thaa and her husband Egg showed up. Time for more mandatory photos. I was having a nicotine withdrawal fit about then because you can't smoke on the campus, so Palmiez and I hit the gate while they took photos.

Thaa had apparently already made a reservation at some Japanese restaurant on the other side of the city for dinner. That was a bit far for us after a busy day, besides the fact that none of us like Japanese food all that much. But, the girls wanted to go, so they headed off and Roong and I went back to the hotel for a nap. With the exception of 2 double Whoppers with cheese, extra pickles,tomatoes, and mustard, possibly the best part of the day.

Later that evening, we wanted to go out to eat, but weren't sure what we wanted. I remembered that I had heard a friend mention that Bangkok was now sporting a few Mexican restaurants that were supposed to be pretty good. So, we tried to find one. I first asked the people at the hotel if they knew where one was. I should have known better. They had no clue, no phone book, and apparently no 411 service. Plan B was to ask a taxi driver. That worked better. He made a few phone calls, and came up with "Sunrise Tacos" on Suhkumvit Rd. Off we went.

That place wasn't bad at all. It's about half a step above a Taco Bell, but the food and the service was good. I got a burrito that was the size of the NY Times rolled up, and all the sour cream and guacamole I could handle, and was in heaven. Roong had her first Quesadilla. Roong isn't a big meat eater, so it was a bit much for her. But, she seemed to like the taste, and will probably enjoy it more the next time, now that she knows how to adjust her order.

As I was getting ready to leave the bar Thursday night it struck me that I still had about 450 test papers to grade, which equals roughly 25,000 questions that I had to wade through. I sat back down and had 2 more beers. We headed back home early this morning to get caught up on everything we gotten to escape from for a few short days. I think I have to go take those damn teachers tests again in May. Only 60 more days until beer and burritos!

Big mama's Degree

Roong's graduation ceremony is almost here. She has to go and practice a few times before the actual event. She will receive her Master's Degree diploma from "Big Princess" on the 4th of March. There will be many thousands of people graduating during that week. Roong was told that they only want each person to take something like 3 seconds to receive their diploma from the princess.

The girls and I are going, but we won't get to see much. For security reasons, only the graduates are allowed in the room with the princess. No cell phones or anything are allowed to be carried in there either. We have to watch the ceremony on a big monitor outside of the hall.

Roong has to practice all morning, and then will graduate in the afternoon. So, I will take the girls shopping while she is doing the practicing, and then come back to watch the ceremony. Puk needs to get her university uniforms and such for her first term. The ceremony will be held in Bangkok, so we can hit some decent stores for a change. I haven't had any bad pizza or been to a good bookstore since last year. Hmmm, on second thought, I'd rather have good pizza and a bad bookstore.

Monster Quest

I had a rather odd thing happen at school today. On Friday, my last class is M-2/4 (8th grade). They are pretty good kids, and they work hard so they usually finish the lesson a few minutes early. The school is shaped like a horseshoe, and this class is in one of the inside corners, right next to the bathroom. Just before this class ends, there are a steady stream of P-5 kids (5th grade) going back and forth from the bathroom going past my class.

One day, a few months ago I happened to step out into the hall about this time amidst the flow. I guess I should mention that I have been known to tease the kids a bit, just to get them fired up before they go back to class. I will jump out and roar at them, or give them a quick snap with my handkerchief. They laugh and scatter, and make it a game to see if they can get by my room without getting caught.

Anyway, on this particular day I had just stepped out of the class and was looking down the hall, when I happened to lock eyes with one of the kids that I hadn't seen before. Usually, when they see me for the first time, they are just curious or sometimes a bit shy. This kid reacted in a whole new way. He stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes got huge, and he turned around and ran all the way back around to the other side of the building and into his classroom. That's a good 200 yards, and he covered the distance pretty damn quick. But, I didn't see which room he ran into. Job, one of my students, had walked out into the hall at the same time I had and saw it too. We just kind of looked at each other and gave a WTF shrug, and forgot about it.

Well, it happened again on the next Friday, and just about every one after that too. After a few of these, I had to find out what had this kid so scared. So, The next time I saw the kids starting to come by, I had Job go out and look for the kid. He found him standing in the same spot he always was staring at my room. Job told him that I was in the teacher's office, and that it was Ok to go by. As they got even with my room, I slowly stepped out of the doorway. The kid freaked! Job grabbed him by the arm to keep him there so I could ask him what was wrong, but that only made things worse. He started shrieking and bawling his eyes out. Job let him go, and he took off like a shot back to his room.

But this time, we saw where he went. I wasn't sure how much English the kid could speak, so I took Job and Ploy with me to translate if need be. We walked around to his classroom to see what the hell was going on. He apparently saw us coming, because when we got there, he had wedged himself behind the classroom door and the wall. This would probably had been more effective if it weren't for the fact the the classroom doors are made of glass. But, there he was with his hands covering his face, and crying his eyes out like it was the judgment day.

Ploy tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't answer her. His teacher was there, so I asked her if he was off his meds, or what? After a few minutes, she finally got him to calm down enough to ask him what was wrong, what was he so afraid of. Between the sniffs and tears he finally sputtered that it was me he was afraid of. When she asked him why, he said it was because I was a mountain giant, and he was afraid that I was going to eat him.

A mountain giant!? You have got to be kidding me. I mean, I stand at least 2 ft taller than the average kid at the school and close to a foot taller than most of the teachers, but that is ridiculous! I couldn't help but laugh. That didn't help much. His teacher assured him that everything was alright, and that nothing was going to happen to him. He stopped crying finally and came out from behind the door. After a few minutes of "there there there's" and back patting, he seemed to recover a bit, but was still wary.

As a final parting gesture I extended my hand and offered to shake his. After a moment of hesitation he timidly accepted it. As he did, I leaned in close to his ear, and in my best broken Thai, assured him that I wasn't going to eat him today........but that I was sure that he'd be nice and crunchy, and taste good with ketchup!

I can't wait until I have him in my class next year! ;)

The Rabbit Is Everywhere!

RedBubble has a special section called "The Buyer's Booth". It's a place where people that have purchased t-shirts and stuff on RB can send in a photo of themselves, or whomever, sporting their latest fashion acquisition. Someone was nice enough to send in a shot of their son Zak wearing one of my "Rabbit Hand Shadow" baby tees. I am not sure who the rabbit laying next to him is, some wannabee I guess.

Zak has a pretty big smile on his face, but I am not sure if it is due to the fact that he knows he is looking sharp in his new Mobii art t-shirt, or because he just filled his diaper. Hey, as long as he's happy!

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Fat People Can't Hula-Hoop!

Are you worried that you have gained a few extra pounds? Do you think you might be working up a bit of a spare tire? Don't bother asking your other half. You know damn well we have to lie, or risk eternal damnation. If you want to know the truth (and you know you can't handle the truth!), just pick up a hula hoop and have a go at it. That will answer your question real quick. Because, fat people can't hula-hoop!

Here's what happened. Mondays and Tuesdays are my busiest days at school. I have a full load of classes, and most of them are my ....umm.... less than brilliant students. It can be nerve racking, to say the least. Anyway, after Tuesday's battle, I went to Bannok to have enough beers to convince myself that it was all just a bad dream. My wife stopped by on her way home, and we talked for a bit before she left.

There was no one else there for about an hour, and I was quite content just having a few, and listening to music on my mp3 player. Then, Gee (one of the waitresses) walked in sporting a pair of hula hoops. One large one, and one small one. She spun the large one, and made it look like it was the easiest thing in the world. I think she even called her boyfriend on her cell phone while she was doing it.

Well, the other girls, including Eid (the owner) all gave it a shot, and had no trouble at all. Then, they asked me if i wanted to try. Now, I am sure that I could hula-hoop when I was a kid. I am quite sure that I remember doing it. But, I couldn't even get it to go around twice. The obvious reason to me was that it's because I have no waist. Basic physics tells me that if the hoop doesn't have a slighter axis point to rotate one, then gravity will take charge and it will go down like Oprah on a baked ham.

The girls thought that this was hysterical. They decided that men can't hula-hoop. I got Eid's cousin to give it a try. He isn't as big as I am, but living in a restaurant hasn't helped his figure any. He couldn't do it either. So, I called on Air to try it. He has given up his fake boobs, but is still built like a tall skinny girl. No success there either, and he has hips! he was worse than I was at it.

About then, Blinky came out of the back room. We asked her to give it a try. Luckily for us, her hula-hooping is about as good as her karaoke singing. And, even though she has a smoking hot body, she couldn't even get it to go around once. Haaa! But, even with that small victory, the rule seems to be that unless you have at least some type of waist, you aren't going to be able to hula the hoop.

I have now vowed to lose enough weight to be able to hula-hoop better than Blinky can. This may take a while.

2 Seconds of Fame?

I was kind of half watching a show about the filming of the "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" series. About halfway through it they flashed to a shot of one of the producers or directors standing next to a camera. It wasn't until after the show had gone on for another minute or so, that I thought "Damn, that guy's t-shirt looked familiar".

I went to Youtube and pulled up all the trailers and "Behind the scene" type of stuff, and finally found one that showed that guy. Hey! That's my t-shirt design! It's a silhouette of John Steed and Emma Peel from the old "Avengers" series from back in the late 60's. Lots of other people have done variations on that silhouette shot from the opening credits, but as far as I could find, none of them are exactly like mine.

Odds are that he didn't get it from me, but you never know. If he did buy it from me, it must have been several months ago, because I took that white version of that design down because it wasn't selling very well. The black silhouette version is still here though.

Whether it is or isn't my design doesn't matter much I guess, but I must admit that it was a real rush thinking that it could have been.

2010 Flood

We get some serious flooding every year at about this time. Sometimes much of Bangkok is underwater. I guess filling in most of the canals wasn't such a good idea after all, was it.

We get hit here pretty hard too, because we live close to the dam and the river. This year, 8 out of the 10 villages in Roong's district totally flooded out. She has been working 7 days a week to supervise the distribution of food and clean water to the refugees. The worst part may be yet to come though, because after the flood waters recede, then they have to deal with the mosquitoes and disease that always seems to follow this time of year.

Almost finished

She did it! Palmiez has finished University. Well, almost. Apparently her last semester is an OJT type of deal. She has already found a job at a company in Bangkok that will hire her for the semester to work in their IT department. I imagine, that if she does well they will keep her on a permanent basis.

Her final project for this last term was to construct a pen that could identify it's owner's signature. That way, if it was stolen, it wouldn't work for the thief. She confiscated my drawing tablet to build it, I hope I see it again someday. She should be home in a few days for a brief vacation before she starts her job. I am anxious to see how her project turned out. We have already gotten her term grades, 3 A's and 2 B's. We are very proud of her.

Mai pet, kob

If knowing the difference between adding a little pizazz to a dish and burning the enamel off one's teeth is an art, then the Thais are still finger painting. Thai food has a lot of chilies in it, and they diabolically come in all kinds of colors so you can't always easily sort them out.

The easy solution would seem to be to tell the waitress, or the cook, "Mai pet, kob". That means "Not hot, please" in Thai. For some reason, that doesn't work very well. I am not sure if it is because the waitresses just don't pay any attention to what you are saying, or because the cook thinks that the look on your face you get after swallowing a mouthful of those things is funny as hell.

At first, I thought that I was just getting a bit older and couldn't handle the hot stuff like I used too. I would take a bite of something, turn beet red, and start sweating in places that I didn't know I had. Then, I would raise 7 kinds of hell about it, and the girls would be laughing their little brown asses off. Mind you, this would happen at the same places I have been eating at least a few times a week, for almost 5 years now. I was pretty sure it was a conspiracy, because Thai folk can have a pretty evil sense of humor when the mood strikes them.

But, after watching our girls for a while, I noticed the same thing happening to them too. They are just sneakier about their suffering. After Palmiez would take a bite of something, She would put her head down a little to chew it. I asked her why she did that, and when she looked up at me, it was clear as day. She had tears streaming out of her eyes and a water mustache.

I asked her "Alloy mai?", which means "Is it delicious?". To which she coughed, blinked back the tears, and sputtered "Chai, alloy mach daddy", which means "Yes, it's very delicious". So, I asked her why, if it was so good, was she crying? She just giggled and kept eating.

I have, on many occasions, tried to explain to them that "hot" is not a flavor, but have met with no success. Roong tells me that chillies are good for you. She can't seem to explain why, but remains convinced that it is true. Deep down, I may be hoping that maybe there is some wonderous hidden health benefit to them that I haven't discovered yet, and that she puts them in there because she loves me. But, until I develop the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound, or live to be 147 years old, I will remain convinced that she does it just to see ridiculous faces I make when I come across one of her culinary booby traps.

Asian Determination

A person could know South Korea for a long time without knowing Wanju, an obscure county 112 miles south of Seoul. And, at least until recently, a person could know a lot about Wanju without ever hearing of Cha Sa-soon, a 69-year-old woman who lives alone in the mountain-ringed village of Sinchon.

Now, however, Ms. Cha is an unlikely national celebrity.

This diminutive woman, now known nationwide as “Grandma Cha Sa-soon,” has achieved a record that causes people here to first shake their heads with astonishment and then smile: She failed her driver’s test hundreds of times but never gave up. Finally, she got her license — on her 960th try.

For three years starting in April 2005, she took the test once a day five days a week. After that, her pace slowed, to about twice a week. But she never quit.

Hers is a fame based not only on sheer doggedness, a quality held in high esteem by Koreans, but also on the universal human sympathy for a monumental — and in her case, cheerful — loser.

“When she finally got her license, we all went out in cheers and hugged her, giving her flowers,” said Park Su-yeon, an instructor at Jeonbuk Driving School, which Ms. Cha once attended. “It felt like a huge burden falling off our back. We didn’t have the guts to tell her to quit because she kept showing up.”

Of course, Ms. Park and another driving teacher noted, perhaps Ms. Cha should content herself with simply getting the license and not endangering others on the road by actually driving. But they were not too worried about the risk, they said, because it was the written test, not the driving skill and road tests, that she failed so many times.

WHEN word began spreading last year of the woman who was still taking the test after failing it more than 700 times, reporters traced her to Sinchon, where the bus, the only means of public transportation, comes by once every two hours on a street so narrow it has to pull over to let other vehicles pass.

They followed her to the test site in the city of Jeonju, an hour away. There, they also videotaped her in the market, where she sells her home-grown vegetables at an open-air stall.

Once she finally got her license, in May, Hyundai-Kia Automotive Group, South Korea’s leading carmaker, started an online campaign asking people to post messages of congratulations. Thousands poured in. In early August, Hyundai presented Ms. Cha with a $16,800 car.

Ms. Cha, whose name, coincidentally enough, is Korean for “vehicle,” now also appears on a prime-time television commercial for Hyundai.

It is a big change from her non-celebrity life, spent simply in a one-room hut with a slate roof, where the only sounds on a recent summer day were from a rain-swollen brook, occasional military jets flying overhead and cicadas rioting in the nearby persimmon trees. A lone old man dozed, occasionally swatting at flies, in a small shop next to the bus stop.

Born to a peasant family with seven children but no land, Ms. Cha spent her childhood working in the fields and studying at an informal night school. It was not until she turned 15 that she joined a formal school as a fourth grader. But her schooling ended there a few years later.

“Father had no land, and middle school was just a dream for me,” she said.

Ms. Cha said she had always envied people who could drive, but it was not until she was in her 60s that she got around to trying for a license.

“Here, if you miss the bus, you have to wait another two hours. Talk about frustration!” said Ms. Cha, who had to transfer to a second bus to get to her driving test site and to yet another to reach her market stall.

“But I was too busy raising my four children,” she continued. “Eventually they all grew up and went away and my husband died several years ago, and I had more time for myself. I wanted to get a driver’s license so I could take my grandchildren to the zoo.”

I Learned A New Word Today

I am pretty sure that on any given day, I learn a hell of a lot more than my class does. I don't know if that's just life, or if it's just me. Here's what happened..

My wife won't teach me any Thai dirty words. At first, I thought it was because she was just an old prude, but then I realized that Thais don't really have a lot of curse words. Your expression or tone of voice does more for emphasis than any particular explicative that you could use. They have some, but not a great selection.

Today, one of my better students was trying to dazzle me with her latest batch of barely understandable vocabulary. After she had run out, she smiled real big and said "I speak ang-grit very well". "Ang-grit" is the Thai word for English. I rolled my eyes and said "Yes, I can see that". I then reminded her that she should practice her English every day. She thought about it for a second, and said "fuk ang-grit!" I had a moment of panic, and then calmly asked her what she had said. She smiled and replied "Chan fuk ang-grit".

Well, that's what I though she said. I figured that it would be much more fun to have an audience, if I could get her to say that again. This was better than South Park. I headed over to the teacher's office with little Miw in tow. Miss Nong happened to be in there, so I asked her to listen to Miw's latest verbal accomplishment.

On command, Miw loudly said "Fuk Ang-grit!". I looked at Nong, who looked back at me, smiled, and said "that's good". I was a bit confused. I asked Miw where she had gotten that, and to my surprise, she said she had gotten it from me. I admit to having let a few borderline words slip occasionally because no one understands what I am saying anyway, but never that one. I think Miw noticed my confusion, because she grabbed a dictionary and quickly looked up the word "fuk". In Thai, it means "to practice". When she said "Fuk ang-grit", she was telling me that she practiced her English, as I said she needed to do. I smiled and told her how proud I was of her, thanked Nong, and took a smiling little miss Miw back to class.

I guess the moral to the story is that if you really want to learn a new language, and be able to speak it well, you have to "fuk" a lot.

Pukky's Birthday Video

Puk turned 17 a little less than 2 weeks ago, so Roong made a video about it. Per the norm, we went to Ban-nok to eat, drink, and be merry. Until the karaoke starts, and then it's just lots of drinking. Roong has all kinds of things on her website now, give it a look.

Infomobiimmercial

Roong has been making slideshow videos for her greeting cards and flower photos. So, I decided to make one for my t-shirts. Great tee art and banjo music. What more could you ask for? Yeah, I know, pretty girls. I'm working on it. Mobii's RedBubble

Velveeta is Indestructable

Every once in a while, my mom sends me a block of Velveeta cheese. I am very grateful for this because I like Velveeta, but also, it's a little bit of home, that I can't get here. Thai people don't seem to like cheese. They also apparently have an aversion to salad dressing, but that's another story. Anyway, Mom put a block of the pasteurized gold in a box with some undies, a can of Pringles, and tees, and sent it on it's merry way. About 2 weeks later, I received a notice from the post office that a package had arrived for me, but had been damaged along the way. That is secret post office code for "we opened it up, but didn't want anything in there".

I immediately went bat shit crazy. Mom sends these little treasures once every few months, and it's expensive to send anything larger than a letter from Missouri to Thailand. Also, the little shits try and charge me for it when it gets here. It's some type of import tax, but they give it a different name every time they ask for it. I have found that taking Roong with me usually solves that problem, because she out ranks them.

Back to the cheese. I went there after work, and was immediately ushered to the back to see the package. There were three postal workers standing around one of those small carts, looking like surgeons who knew the patient they were going to operate on wasn't going to pull through. It was pretty bad.

One half of the box was totally crushed. It had also been ripped open at one corner. It happened after it arrived, because I could see the Bangkok stamp mark that the tear had divided. I slammed my fist down on the table and let loose with a pretty impressive string of colorful vocabulary. I ripped open what was left of the box to see if anything had survived. At first, it was hard to tell. Everything was covered in crushed Pringles. The clothes seemed ok, just a bit oily and full of crumbs. Nothing a good washing couldn't fix. But, as I lifted them off, there was the cheese.

It was pretty bad. It had been pretty much flattened, and the box was torn open at one end. I carefully picked it up, and took the the box apart. What I ended up with, could best be described as a silver water balloon. As near as I could tell, the foil that the Velveeta is wrapped in hadn't been damaged. It seems that It was so hot wherever it had been stored, that the cheese had pretty much liquefied. So, when it got smashed, it just kind of shifted it's shape. It was hard to pick up, because it just wanted to flow out of your hands.

There was hope! So, I gave a last scowl and growl to the post office workers, and hurried home. I put the cheese in the fridge, and kind of wedged it between 2 boxes to try and give it some shape. I left it in there for 2 days to let it set again, in hopes that it would be edible.

It worked. I am munching down on a cheese sandwich, even as we speak. Everyone has heard the urban legends, that Velveeta is just one molecule away from being plastic. True, or not, it's still pretty amazing. The smashing, the heat, and everything else, didn't phase it. It tastes fine. Velveeta truly is indestructible. Thanks Mom!

Things are looking up

"I wanted to wait a few weeks before posting this story, because I wasn’t sure something horrible wasn’t going to happen as a result of it. It seems that a province in southern Thailand has brought a pig-tailed macaque monkey on to its police force. And while I’ve seen some photos showing Officer Santisuk here getting a little yell-y and mooning the general populace, in general it seems that he hasn’t gotten drunk with power. Nobody’s face has been bitten off yet, which is more than some police forces here in the States can attest to. Keep it up, Santisuk, and maybe someday you’ll make detective.

*This was reprinted from the fancy notions blog

I live in a petting zoo

Ok, everyone sing along, Ooooooo....

If there's a cobra on your carport, clap your hands!
If there's a cobra on your carport, clap your hands!

If it's prone to nasty fits, and it strikes at you, or spits,

There's a cobra on your carport, clap your hands!

Ahhh... spring is in the air, and that means hatching time for our favorite lurker. It wasn't quite as big as this bad boy, but that doesn't seem to matter. The little ones are just as dangerous as the big ones, and less predictable. Luckily, stupid Bongo was too busy barking at the neighbors to notice our visitor. The people across the street have been here at least as long as I have, but for some reason, Bongo only barks at them, and chases their scooters. She doesn't bother anyone else on our block. Anyway, I used a broom to shoo the snake out the gate, and it went down the storm drain. I am not so much worried about anyone getting bitten, as I am about the poor snake getting eaten.

New Mobii Art T-shirts

Since I am still on holiday, and it's too damn hot to go outside, I put some new t-shirt designs up. I thought putting the star sign constellations on a tee might be an interesting thing to do. But, after remembering how cheesy "Hey baby, what's your sign?" sounded, I almost took them back down again. Haaa! The Thai fish yin-yang is an old design. I found a great book that is teaching me some of the basics for Thai art. This was one of the designs in the book that they show you as a reference. Pig and Dog, Machine Gun Fingers, and the rest, pretty much speak for themselves.

Pig and Dog

Thai Fish Yin-Yang

Blame Japan

Machine Gun Fingers

Newbie in Wonderland

Life

Aquarius Constellation Zodiac

Spidey to the rescue.

Just when you think you can't take this backwards ass hell hole anymore, something like this happens...

(03-25) 08:11 PDT BANGKOK, Thailand (AP) --

Spiderman to the rescue!

A Thai firefighter put on a Spiderman costume to rescue a superhero-loving autistic boy who climbed onto a third-floor balcony and dangled his legs over the side because he was nervous on his first day of school.

Somchai Yoosabai was called in after the 11-year-old boy's teachers and mother failed to coax him off the ledge on Monday, he said in a telephone interview Wednesday.

"He was nervous about the first day at school, and he was asking for his mother," Somchai said. "He cried and refused to let any of us get close to him."

Overhearing a conversation between the boy's mother and his teachers about his love for comics and superheros, Somchai rushed back to the fire station to change into a Spiderman costume before swinging into action.

"I told him Spiderman is here to save you. No monster will hurt you now," Somchai said. "Then I told him to walk slowly toward me. I was very nervous that he might have slipped if he got too excited and ran."

Somchai, who keeps costume of Spiderman and a Japanese superhero Ultraman to liven up fire drills at schools, said the teary-eyed boy broke into a smile and started walking into his arms.

Possibly Published

I received an email from a woman named Anna from Frontiers magazine. Their magazine and website deal with neuroscience or some such brainy type things. She apparently stumbled across an impressionistic type artwork I did last year called "Sunset on Age". She wanted to know if I would be interested in submitting the artwork for possible use. This sounded like a good plan so I sent it to her immediately, if not sooner. She says they will decide on the final artworks that will be in the issue at the end of February, so keep your fingers crossed.

The USA Invades Thailand!

I received an interesting e-mail from my brother Rob last week. It basically said "We will land in Bangkok in 2 days. Be ready." After the initial excitement of seeing some family after 3 years settled down a bit, we began wondering what the heck to do. Bangkok is huge. There are 17 million people running about there, and they all like to drive (badly) at the same time. Anyway, Rob and Lauren got in late, so they stayed at a hotel the first night. Roong, Palmiez, and I chartered a mini-van and set off to find them early the next morning.....

Roong came up with the idea of visiting a small city in a neighboring province that is basically a little Thailand. It is shaped like the country and has all for major areas represented there. It has little shops and restaurants that give tourists an idea of what each area has to offer. This turned out ok. It was the middle of the week, so it was not crowded, but many of the shops and restaurants weren't open. Still, there were some interesting things to see. We spent a lot of our time trying to dodge tour buses full of noisy students.

I am not sure when the last photo of us together was taken. I think Rob said the only existing photo of all 3 of us together is that god awful photo of us as kids, wearing those 60's striped pants and zipper front shirts (Never let your grandma buy clothes for you). This shot was taken somewhere in Lopburi.

This shot of Roong, Palmiez, and I was taken at the ancient Siam city. They have a few small shrines from the different provinces. Rob said that he had had a knee surgery not too long ago. It was nice to know that I was not the only one creaking as they went to kneel on the floor.

The dudes and their daughters. Of course everyone is giving the mandatory little Asian girl peace sign thingy. Soooo creative (NOT!). After we wandered around the village, we headed over to the Hard Rock Cafe, so Rob and lauren could get a few t-shirts and shot glasses. It was only a few minutes away from the hotel that they were staying in according to the map. This did not, however, take in to concideration our fearless mini-van driver.

The problem with hiring the guy from our town to drive was that he only knew a few places in Bangkok. Most of which are on the main highway in. He spent most of his time chattering on the phone getting directions. He had to turn around a few times, but all in all, he did ok. Bangkok is huge and the traffic is rugged, there is just no way to get anywhere quickly.

Once that was all taken care of, we headed back to Pattananikom. Rob and Lauren stayed at "Bannok". That was nice. The rooms are clean, and the place is friendly. Ead even had breakfast for them the next morning. We sat, had a few beers, and talked for quite a while until jet lag, and the 12 hours we spent riding around in that goofy mini-van slowly won out over us. I don't think anyone had trouble sleeping that night.


The next day we met for lunch and just relaxed a bit more. We decided to try and make one more stop before we headed to the airport. Lopburi is kind of on the way, and has some interesting things to see.

One of the true highlights of the day was Lauren and the monkeys. This ancient structure is in the center of old Lopburi. There used to be many of these set up all over Thailand. Roong says that they were little Wats, or temples. I imagine they were quite beautiful in their glory days.

Now, the monkeys have decided that they own it. It has been fenced off, but the monkeys still travel wherever they want to in Lopburi. You can buy little bags of sunflower seeds to feed the monkeys, and one of the locals, armed with a slingshot, will help keep them under control. The little buggers will steal anything they can get their hands on.

This isn't the best photo of Lauren and the monkeys, but to see that one, you will have to ask her. Haaaa!

After this, we headed for the airport. I had not driven to the new airport before, so this was interesting. We made it there on time, only to find out that there United ticket counter was closed, and would not open until the next morning. This meant that Rob and Lauren had to grab a hotel near by for 6 hours or so. Anything near the airport is expensive to the point of being ridiculus. But there was nothing else to do.

I was a little worried because Roong and Palmiez were so quiet during all this. They can be shy at times, but both can speak English. They both started to loosen up a bit near the end. They were so worried about being accepted. Everyone seemed to get along just fine. Roong is already planning what to do when they come back. I heard about this for every single second on the 3 hour trip back home. Haaaa!

It was great to see family again. I hope that they can come back soon. Next time we can head down to Pattaya and hang out by the beach. Beer and seafood always works. I would like to get up to Chiang Mai to see the mountain villages and the flower festival, but it's 11 hours away. I think they do have an airport though. We will see.

Mobii Gets Swine Flu Fever!

It's just sad when people try to cash in on the misery of others, isn't it? It's not so sad if you actually do make some cash though. These are my latest contributions. See the rest on my Redbubble site.

Health Dept. Update

Warning

If you receive an email from the 'Department of Environment & Health' saying not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu, just ignore it.........it's SPAM!

Helpful Post Office Tips....

My, my, my, what an interesting Friday we had here. I had just finished the first week of the new school year. I was drained, but pleased with the results of my new lesson plan. As I was leaving work, I got a phone call from Roong, asking me to meet her at the post office. I assumed that there was a registered letter, or some other such thing that I needed to sign for. No big deal, so off I went.

*Flashback* Last week, during an email to my Dad, I recall him saying that he was going to cut the grass that day. I remember saying that although I didn't miss cutting the grass, I did miss having a yard. Please keep this in mind as the story continues. Back to Friday.....

Upon my arrival at the post office, I notice my wife having what looks to be a very serious discussion with several men, most of which are in uniform and armed (guns out). When they saw me, things got very quiet, very quickly. The guy with the most medals snapped something off to the postal clerk, and motioned for me to go to him. He had an opened manila envelope in his hand, and proceeded to withdraw and hand me the one page letter inside. The note was a message from dad, reminding me of the grass email conversation we had the week before. Please remember, that I am the only one present with the ability read the note. After reading the letter, I looked at everyone like, "Ok, so what?". At which time the postal clerk dumped the rest of the contents of the envelope on the counter.

Dad had sent me a bunch of cut grass, as a joke. Hmmm..now let's think about this. What would happen if I sent about 2 ounces of dried green leafy stuff through the mail to the USA? Yup, the same thing. They were not amused. They asked me if it was marijuana. I told them I wasn't sure, and that if he would chase me up a pipe real quick, I would be happy to find out. They were still not amused. I explained what it was to Roong, who in spite of the seriousness of everyone else started giggling. She in turn explained it to the police. After a while, and much contents sniffing, they finally believed us, and we were allowed to leave. But, not without getting a severe lecture that luckily, I didn't understand a word of. And, the bastards kept my grass! There is no doubt in my mind that those clowns either tried to smoke it, or sell it within 15 minutes.

So, there you have it. Proof positive that you should "Just say NO", and shouldn't send grass through the mail. And Dad, a bit of Thai trivia, they can literally shoot you on the spot for drug dealing here, and next time, send the ganja to my school address, they never search educational material!

The Answer

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.


On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.


On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.


On the fourth day, God created humans and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.



There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.


*Thanks Dee!

Grass Chairs

Is this brilliant, or what? Get ready for summer by growing your own grass chairs! Instead of wasting hours trying to decide on which matching lawn furniture set to buy, why not let nature do its job by letting it grow eco-friendly organic grass chairs for your backyard while you wait? No more of the annual scraping and painting. Now, all I need is a yard!

I am looking forward to retirement

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop.
We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'



He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So my wife called him a shit-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

Teacher's License Update

Well, although it's still a bit gloomy where this is concerned, we did find some new info. With a letter from my school, I can get another 2 year extension. I have to keep taking those damn tests though to show that I am making an effort. This is a lot more than I can say for the Thai government. Roong found a Uni in Lopburi that offers a condensed teachers certificate course that will satisfy the Ministry of Education. It takes 9 months of going to school one weekend a month. Not bad, but it costs 60,000 baht. That's about half of what it would cost in Bangkok. But the catch is that they stopped the program due to lack of interest. There aren't many foreigners where I am, and most seem to have given up. I am searching for others that might be interested in the course because the prof. told Roong that he would re-open the course if we could get 8 students. We will see how that goes.

I have to get my visa renewed this month. I think we are going next Thursday. I don't look forward to sitting in the Immi. office all day, but I do get cheeseburgers. With all the fuss over education lately, I was looking online for free courses that I might be able to take to give me an edge on something. A surprising amount of places offer free courses. None of them give you any college credits of course, but I thought I might find a useful one.

I noticed that Brigham Young offered a few, so I looked at the list, and noticed that they offer bowling, beginner's swimming, and 300 religion courses. There's a lesson in there somewhere. I almost signed up for the swimming just to see how that works online.

A Hoax?

This Is Not A Joke!

4 THINGS YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW
YOUR MOBILE PHONE COULD DO

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.

Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.

Check out the things that you can do with it:

FIRST
Emergency
The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112.

If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile; network and there is an emergency, dial 112<> and the mobile will search any existing
network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialled
even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND
Have you locked your keys in the car?
Does your car have remote keyless entry?
This may come in handy someday.
Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home,
call someone at home on their mobile phone from your cell phone.

Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button,
holding it near the mobile phone on their end.

Your car will unlock.

Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you.

Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has
the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

Editor's Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a mobile phone!'

THIRD
Hidden Battery Power
Imagine your mobile battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your mobile will restart with this reserve and the
instrument will show a 50% increase in battery.

This reserve will get charged when you charge your mobile next time.

FOURTH
How to disable a
STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 #

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen.

This number is unique to your handset.

Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.

When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code.

They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.

You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either.

If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

ATM - PIN Number Reversal - Good to Know
If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your PIN # &n bsp;
in reverse.

For example, if your pin number is 1234, then you would put in 4321.

The ATM system recognizes that your PIN number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine.

The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the robber, the police will be
immediately dispatched to the location.

This information was recently broadcast on CTV by Crime Stoppers however it is seldom used because people just don't know about it.
Please pass this along to everyone.

This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends

Pancakes hit Thailand!

While we were at the store last week in Lopburi. I stumbled across a box of pancake mix. I hadn't seen it anywhere here before. After blowing the dust off the box, we decided to give it a go. This morning, because she was the hungriest, Palmiez decided to try making them. She did great for her first time. They don't in any way shape or for even resemble round, but they taste ok. The shape may be due to her trying to make them in a wok. We may need to find a legit frying pan somewhere.

Oh, and you may have noticed that Palm is sporting a new shorter doo. She got fed up with the heat, and whacked it all off. Makes sense to me. I have mine so short now that I noticed I have a small birthmark on the left side of my head, just above my ear. Who knew?

Palmiez the Mad Scientist

Palmy built a robot! It was an assignment for one of her classes. While she was building it, I was trying to guess what it would do. I naturally went for the most obvious things. Like a robot that could talk on the cell phone for her, while she was talking on her other one. Or, maybe a robot that would fold the laundry for her (she hates doing that!). As the unveiling crept closer, she ran into a snag. She had been working with a group of other students, but it seems that her instructor wasn't to thrilled with what they had achieved so far. This worried her a bit, but didn't stop her. Palmiez decided to do it herself. What she ended up making, is a little robot mouse that follows a beam of light to wherever you want it to go. I am not sure what you could do with it, but it's pretty cool just the same. She received a very good grade, and is most pleased with herself.

Buddhism vs Easter

Happy Easter everyone. I hadn't noticed that it was almost here. Living in the land of Buddhism can make that easy to happen. There isn't much attention paid to the Christian holidays. I believe that Easter is a celebration of Christ's rise from the grave? Let's face it, everyone here believes in continuous reincarnation, so JC coming back from the dead only once, pretty much makes him an amateur! XD

4 out of 5 RedBubblers agree....

Yeah baby! My "Return of Dead Fish" tee design made the first slot on the front of RedBubble's home page. A little recognition isn't a bad thing to see first thing in the morning. Now, if i could just sell a few of the damn things! Haaa!